Actually, it's mostly the holes in your head. ...er. The sinus cavities, the mouth and the throat, that is. Your voice resonates in these hollows and reach you through the bones of your head vibrating as well as through the air. And since bone has higher density than air, the sound waves become distorted, and that leads to your voice sounding different to you than it does to everyone else.
As for the phone phobia, I have it too, and I like my voice. I mean, I'm a vocalist. It's the invisible time limit that gets me. You have to get what you want said said and as quickly as possible, and that just... flusters me, because I need to think things through before I say them, and that doesn't work on the phone. I find that writing everything I need to say down and thinking about what the person on the other end might be likely to say and how to respond to that helps, but if they deviate from my written little script, I'm still likely to panic. >.
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As for the phone phobia, I have it too, and I like my voice. I mean, I'm a vocalist. It's the invisible time limit that gets me. You have to get what you want said said and as quickly as possible, and that just... flusters me, because I need to think things through before I say them, and that doesn't work on the phone. I find that writing everything I need to say down and thinking about what the person on the other end might be likely to say and how to respond to that helps, but if they deviate from my written little script, I'm still likely to panic. >.