vid thoughts from the vidding meme

Just been thinking over some of the comments I got from the vidding truth meme and talking it over with lierdumoa and fashes this weekend, and while I'd realized before how much I'm driven by things I like and how much energy I get from being happy, it never quite hit me until now how much I was the most deeply invested in those of my vids that are about joy. Whether it was about being broken and finding your buttress (The Fragile), about pulling away from hurtful addiction (Gravity), about never being able to be enough or to do enough with the exception of loving hard enough (After Midnight), about getting your heart broken and reaching for love again and again (In The Breakdown), about being broken and breaking things and still still finding a place that will embrace you (Welcome Home)...these vids took the most out of me, frustrated the most out of me, demanded the most out of me because, well...I...want to bottle joy.

I want to show how to smile, with ash in your mouth. I want to show hands that hold and create both blood and beauty.

I want to show this bittersweet happiness in as clear a way as possible on as many levels as possible, because I want to try to communicate this feeling and I know that people communicate in different ways. So it's good to know from the meme that my vids aren't connecting emotionally, so that I know to try harder.

::HUGS:: to those who've commented on my thread, thank you for letting me know.