love and joy and hijinks

Better than Perfect

2010-07-15T21:36:31Z

Better than Perfect

AN: Assume post-series sometime or other. Thanks to Violet Garnets for pointing out mistakes! ^_^b

Summary: Wherein Naruto has a scheme to remove Kakashi's mask, and Kakashi plays a game of gay chicken (he cheats).

Warnings: really really NC-17, semi-het (ie. Sexy no Jutsu)

.o0o.

"A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week."
- General George S. Patton

.o0o.

The blond-haired 'callgirl' shuddered as Kakashi ran a knuckle back and forth between her legs, over her panties, across the slight dip where she was the hottest, where the cloth was slowly growing wet.

"What was you name again?" Kakashi said, amused, wondering when the other shoe would drop, but deciding to play along however long he could get away with it. He bit and licked lightly at the corners of 'her' mouth through his mask, having already removed his hitai-ate, and smiled at the smell of miso.

( Read more... )

comments

Meditations on the art of Not-Speaking

2010-07-15T04:46:23Z

Meditations on the art of Not-Speaking

.o0o.

AN: NaruKakaNaru. Naruto's various ages, but the relationship first happens when he's around 16.5.

There were more challenges in the KakaNaru LJ comm and I decided to stick them in the same universe as the previous set. The prompts were: rain, family, surprise, wet, mask.

Warnings: reaaaally NC-17 for a couple of them, hops around time-wise, a lot of story between the cracks, 'surprise' is kinda kinky.

.o0o.

(mask)

"You know, I don't know who he thinks he's kidding." Asuma muttered, looking back down at the shoji board.

"Oh?" Shikimaru glanced up and around. From the noise he'd guess that Naruto was back from his several-year-long trip. And there, off in the distance, so he was, bookended by one of the Sanin and Sharingan no Kakashi, who had his nose in a new book.

Hmm. Mostly, had his nose in a new book. When the blond wasn't looking, the Copy Nin kept sneaking glances over at the teen. ( Read more... )

comments

Meditations on the act of Not-Failing

2010-07-15T04:43:46Z

Meditations on the act of Not-Failing

.o0o.

AN: NaruKakaNaru. Naruto's various ages, but the relationship happens when he's like 16.5.

So there was this challenge in the KakaNaru LJ comm...And it was only supposed to be one sentence per prompt. But I failed at it... BECAUSE I WROTE TOO MUCH. And I repost because I think they turned out rather well, and 'cause they worked out into a single universe. The prompts were: sunshine, regret, desire, death, white, road.

Warnings: NC-17, hops around time-wise, a lot of story between the cracks.

.o0o.

(road)

"Kakashi."

"Yo." He gave a lazy wave towards Asuma, not taking his eye from the training field.

"Shouldn't you be like, training them?"

( Read more... )

comments

Breadcrumbs

2010-07-15T04:42:29Z

Breadcrumbs

.o0o.

AN: KakaNaruKaka. Naruto's 26.

Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto, the bitch.

Warnings: Er. Sorta het? Sorta explicit? XD It's all in the first paragraph tho.

.o0o.

"...and she moaned as Kentaro thrust into her, thighs shaking with the effort of balancing on the railing, and the chill wind teasing at where they were so so hot. No one had better look up, Yukia thought, or at least they better have enough self preservation to shut the hell-"

"That never happened." Kakashi blinked his eye open slowly and coughed.

( Read more... )

comments

The Emperor's New Clothes

2010-07-15T04:39:50Z

The Emperor's New Clothes

.o0o.

AN: KakaNaruKaka. Naruto's 23ish? Hijinks. Thanks to romantiscue for audiencing and Wingwyrm for pinging me onto Iruka! XD

Warnings: None, pretty much gen.

.o0o.

Iruka.

Sandaime-sama. ...is there something wrong?

I appreciate the thought, and your kindness, but would have to ask you to cease and desist.

But it's just—

That's an order.

Hokage-sama, with all due respect, I can't take him out shopping?

( Read more... )

comments

Miles to Go Before I Sleep

2010-07-15T04:37:38Z

Miles to Go Before I Sleep

.o0o.

AN: KakaNaruKaka. Naruto's 10~26ish over the course of this, pretty much gen. Thanks to smiley95 for the prompt! Sorta spoilers for a bit of the Pein arc. Credit to Robert Frost for title inspiration.

.o0o.

It's the fall festival and finally Naruto had a yukata so he could attend! He'd never had the money to buy one before, and the shopkeepers didn't want to rent one to him. But Jiji gave this nice one to him, a happy burnt-orange color with a pattern of yellow leaves, and told him to try to keep it clean, but not very seriously. Naruto just made a face at the old man, because the shopkeepers didn't think he could keep theirs clean either!, and promised that he would.

( Read more... )

comments

Icarus Rises

2010-07-15T04:36:06Z

Icarus Rises

.o0o.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

AN: Set in Ancient Greece. Might make more sense if you're aware of Athenian pederasty (the practice of having older lovers, 'erastes', court male teens, 'eromenos'). Thanks to Fallen-chan for the prompt!

Warning: KakaNaru, M/M/F, EXPLICIT SEX, mostly older Naruto. Sparse use of Japanese names in an inappropriate culture. ::wry:: Apologies! I couldn't figure out a way around it, and the lack of names got too confusing. And I couldn't figure out a workable equivalent in Greek. x.X;;

.o0o.

The blond comes to him at night, and he pulls him in from the window and shuts it tight.

"You shouldn't keep coming here," he says, pressing his face into the crook of that tanned neck, "You're already an adult."

The young man who used to be his eromenos just buries himself deeper into his embrace and chuckles, "I don't see you letting me go."

( Read more... )

comments

To be the Man who Walked a 1000

2010-07-15T04:34:24Z

To be the Man who Walked a 1000

.o0o.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

AN: Brain was eaten by crack. Pure, utter crack. XD

Warning: NaruKaka, KakaNaru, het, hijinks, strangeness, omfg Sasuke XD. READ TALES 4 AND 5, else this would really, really not make sense.

.o0o.

Sasuke loves his mother and thinks she's wonderful, even if she kind of embarrasses him sometimes, like with her constantly calling him cute even though he's fifteen and with reading her trashy novels and with his name. Who the hell named their kids something Japanese when their last name was O'Harris? ( Read more... )

comments

And I Would Walk 500 More

2010-07-15T04:32:42Z

And I Would Walk 500 More

.o0o.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

AN: Brain was eaten by Tale 4's universe and Under the Oak Tree's prompt and... this happened.

Warning: KakaNaru, NaruKaka, non-explicit. CRACK. And hijinks. Will not make sense until you read Tale 4, and may not make sense even then. Female!Kakashi, sometimes female Naruto.

.o0o.

"Stop moping," her best friend demanded when she opened the door. "Look, I know that you thought you'd have more time together but she was fucking eighty for crying out loud. She had to go sometime."

( Read more... )

comments

And I Would Walk 500 Miles

2010-07-15T04:27:59Z

And I Would Walk 500 Miles

.o0o.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

AN: Brain was eaten by SheWhoHasLostHerMind's prompt and thanks to romantiscue for audiencing. XD

Warning: KakaNaru, NaruKaka, non-explicit.

.o0o.

"He won't."

"He will."

"I'm telling you there's no way. It's a one in a billion chance."

"Is that a bet?"

( Read more... )

comments

Memoirs Of A

2010-07-15T04:23:07Z

Memoirs Of A

.o0o.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and am not making money off this.

AN: I'd wanted to post an older!NaruKaka, but this was taking up Doc Manager space and the Epic would not stop growing. ::wry::

Warning: KakaNaru, semi-underage, non-explicit.

.o0o.

"Ah Kakashi-san!" She bowed. "Good evening."

He tilted his head at the mistress of the house. He would normally not revisit a place, especially not one where he's apparently recognized, but.

( Read more... )

comments

Follow Me Down

2010-07-15T04:19:19Z

Follow Me Down

.o0o.

AN: Really mostly gen., pairing if you squint, strangeness ahoy. Many thanks to Nightmaric for the prompt.

.o0o.

Its a murky twilight, and even the busy streets seem muted and a little hollow. That's not rare these days though, to have Konoha feel like it's trembling in on itself.

( Read more... )

comments

[Naruto fic] Like a Knife Loves Skin

2010-07-15T03:44:03Z

Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke
Rating: Mostly worksafe
Summary: Falling in love is like this.

Title: ( Like a Knife Loves Skin )

comments

[Naruto fic] You Are Not My Sunshine My Only Sunshine

2010-07-15T03:40:37Z

Summary: ...you don't make me happy when skies are gray! XD

~

Naruto's hair, Sasuke thinks irritably, racing over the hill, is the color of piss. (It is the color of piss after drinking too much and finally, finally finding a toilet.) He slows down once he sees Naruto is alone and stalks forward, feeling anger like he'd swallowed his own Katon; Naruto is slumped against a tree in a puddle of blood, blood which might've either been from him or from the dead missing-nin by his side. Naruto's eyes were closed.

Sasuke crouches down and grabs and yanks on a handful of that coarse hair, pube-like in how it goes every-which-way and how it smells like ass because Naruto should really wash his hair more, and Sasuke hisses into his face, "If you die, I'll get Sakura to heal you anyways so that I can kill you myself. But slower."

Naruto winces and glares up at him. "I'm just resting, bastard." The dobe moves his legs aimlessly, except where it hooks against Sasuke's legs and unbalances him enough to spill him into Naruto's lap and Sasuke finds himself getting aquainted once again with Naruto's octopus-like qualities. He would squirm had not previous attempts deemed it futile.

"Quit bitching, I'll be up in a second."

"Hn," Sasuke replied. "You'd better." (He feels irritated, he tells himself.)

~

drabble 'cause I couldn't get the descriptions out of my head...

comments