So I finally saw Return of the King

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Here I lay down my various musings, criticisms, squee's and snark.

No. Really, I'm pretty sure that's a corset in that shot, though it's a low corset or some such, or at least corset-like lacings up the back...

I'm blaming a lot of the snark on mother dearest who saw the movie with me and had a tendancy to giggle at the *worst* moments ever. Total "lets throw a bucket of ice and totally kill. the. moment" type things and she doesn't even understand what she's doing wrong. urg.

However. GORGEOUS movie. Eye-candy up the wazoo and some lovely performances.

And: Eowyn kicks ASS. and she does so mightily.

Also! Gandalf!! The staff and the sword and just SO many different kinds of ass-kicking! (instead of being just *shiny!*...which, come to think of it, there was an astonishingly large amount of...)

In fact, everyone got to kick a little ass...except, that is, for Frodo; who just went "gurk" most of the time and lost half a finger to Gollum to boot.

Poor guy, no wonder he went over the sea.

Oh, and the hobbit love? DUDE. So canon.

Also, I think I see where the Aragorn/Legolas is coming from, but it feels one-sided, especially with that Aragorn/Arwen kiss.

And the Obligatory Neat Elf-Trick? Satisfactorily impressive.

WHY DID THEY SHAVE ARAGORN FOR THAT ONE SCENE?!?!?! ::weeps:: what WAS that?! And the weird hairdo's. I mean, I understand that he needs to look more kingly but...WHY?!

And beating down the gates of Minas Tirth with an overly large phallic symbol. ::facepalm::

Speaking of which, that scene where Elrond presented the sword to Aragorn? urg. umm... bad pacing and dude but that sword looked HUGE.

supposed that was the point tho.

The music overall was superb and matched well. That one where Pippin was singing? Just *heartbreakingly* used, especially matching the soldier's sacrifice to the Denethor's gluttony. (unfortunately this was one of the times that mother decided to snicker. god DAMMIT.)

My one major quibble was the violins used for the spider scene. It just didn't work for me, in high contrast to the near-perfect silence of the scene right after where the spider lurks over Frodo, which was impressively effective.


Did anyone else think 'Harry Potter!' when they saw the spider?

Also, I got distinct Aragorn-as-Harry during that whole 'hope of the people' scene (they both even do that 'stare with a sword' pose with the movie posters!) and a bit of the 'faith of the people' thing in a Gandalf-as-Harry way in the Gandalf and Pippin scene at Minas Tirth.

Nevermind that I also got Phantom Menance flashbacks in the 'pitch Gollum into the dark pit' scene...

and also: did David Eddings mooch off plot or *what*?? what's the timeline for this stuff??

Then again, isn't LotR the granddaddy of all adventure novels?? huh.

The movie, as a supplement to the books, would be *fantastic*. But as for storytelling itself as a movie? It leaves just that half inch to be desired...just a bit too much facination with signal fires, and I'm still a bit hazy on *why* Denethor was being SUCH an ass (I mean, you know and you *feel* it, but there's also a very abrupt feeling to it all), and it was really weird just seeing the green blur of undead fighters swarming into the city with not enough connection to the characters we know that's fighting inside...

However. Marvelous movie, I probably would have gotten the soaring feeling I was looking for more had I been with a better audience but hey, beggars can't choose. I'll probably need to see this again, or see the whole thing on extended edition...

Oh! Did anyone else post any thoughts about RotK and wouldn't mind sharing a link? I know I skimmed aLOT of cut-tags this past month, but I'm not sure where to start looking...

Comments

[juniper200.livejournal.com]

Answer: Corsets are sexy, Hugo Weaving is sexy, and The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was a great movie. In short, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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y'know...that's a very awesome point...::ponders mental image::

[linaelyn.livejournal.com]

David Eddings SO mooched plot off of Tolkien.

The critics even said so at the time. Said Tolkien should sue his ass.

I believe Tolkien would say that Beowulf was the granddaddy of all adventure novels??

I'll go check and see where my ROTK impressions are. But I think they're mostly in others' comment strings, since I was worried about spoilage of others. I saw it openning night in the U.S.

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The critics even said so at the time. Said Tolkien should sue his ass.

oh wow, I didn't even know...did anything happen in the end because of it?

And I think you're right about Beowulf, tho my memory of that epic is hazy..

[winter]

I think Denethor's this movie's victim of cuts-that'll-be-there-in-extended-edition (as were Gimli and Boromir in FOTR and Faramir and again Gimli in TTT). If you haven't seen TTT extended, there's the first of his scenes there, and I'm holding my fingers crossed that at least a little of the Minas Tirith palantir business will end up in ROTK extended - for Valar's sakes, that was what drove him mad.

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Minas Tirith palantir business will end up in ROTK extended - for Valar's sakes, that was what drove him mad.

ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ::curls self around your legs:: my GOD that makes so much sense now! And yeah, I think I really do need to go for a marathon viewing when the three-pack extended editions comes out...

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

I had a conversation with a friend who read the books. He was like, "Yeah -- he was crazy because he had one of those orb thingies Pippin held at the beginning of the movie. But hey -- it's so much more fun when he's crazy for no reason!"

Yeah -- me and my friends are weird.

[laizeohbeets.livejournal.com]

it's a cinch corset.

just brings the waist in tighter.

[permetaform]

oh! that makes sense.

still tho, cannot help being amused (amsosorryforgive?)

[laizeohbeets.livejournal.com]

oh yeah, and my rotk thoughts [as random as they may be] are here:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/laizeohbeets/115139.html#cutid1

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

Speaking of which, that scene where Elrond presented the sword to Aragorn? urg. umm... bad pacing and dude but that sword looked HUGE.

My thoughts *exactly.* I was like...uhm, are we still slow-panning?

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Yeah, I was thinking, is this thing like 2 meters long or wtf??? and elrond with the eye-bugging and the "kyyyYAH!" moment when he whips it out was very very odd...

[madam-h.livejournal.com]

Pippin singing for Denethor was the only point at which I cried. And I didn't just cry - I wept like a girl. Poor silly Pippin, suddenly finding the weight of a man's madness on his shoulders. He tugs at my heartstrings.

With you on the giggling idiot bit - an eejit behind me kept up a steady stream of "Oh, Tolkein didn't write that," and "Well, that was a bit shabby," and "I think they could have done that a bit better"... eventually I turned around and asked if he wouldn't mind awfully shutting the fuck up. At least I was polite :)

I didn't actually link with Harry Potter when I saw Shelob - too relieved and proud at managing to keep my arachnaphobia under control!

Should be going again this weekend. I did FotR and TTT three times each, and someone has pointed out that if I do RotK three times I'll have gone once for each member of the original fellowship - how sad is that???

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Wow. The _only_ part where you cried? The first time, I was getting sniffly all over the place, mostly over Scenery Looking Right... the second time I saw it, MY only crying spot was the charge of the Rohirrim. "Ride to ruin and the world's ending!" Tears just POURING down my face. Too wonderful.

[guede-mazaka.livejournal.com]

Guess it's just me then that saw the RotK poster and went, 'since when did Isildur come back'? 'Cause doesn't Mortenson look like Harry Sinclair in that?

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

Oh, I forgot -- here's my reaction: http://www.livejournal.com/users/lierdumoa/34097.html

[calicokat.livejournal.com]

In fact, everyone got to kick a little ass...except, that is, for Frodo; who just went "gurk" most of the time and lost half a finger to Gollum to boot.

Poor guy, no wonder he went over the sea.

That is, partly, because by this time main character duty shifts fully over to Sam rather than Frodo. Sam is, arguably, the main character of the entire story. I.e, he undergoes the most character development, and the focus does shift to him rather than Frodo towards the end. Notice the movies acknowledge this as the last scene of the movie is Sam returning home, going on where Frodo has already left.

The movie, as a supplement to the books, would be *fantastic*. But as for storytelling itself as a movie? It leaves just that half inch to be desired...

Like other people already said, this is because there's an hour of footage missing. I felt the hurt, too. I was just like "Okay, felt a scene missing here, and here, and here..." I understand why he had to make cuts, because few people would dig sitting through a four and a half hour movie, but... I dunno, I'm just slightly impatient for the extended version. z_z

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ahhh! NOW the Sam thing makes sense! and yeah, I'm just waiting for when they're gonna release the three in a package, because you KNOW they're going to try that...

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

I the whole audience claps and cheered when Gandalf kicked Denethor's ass. ^_^

I see the Legolas/Aragorn too. But then again, whenever Aragorn is thinking about Arwen and Legoas knows it, Legolas gets this weird smile. It's the same damn smile that and older brother gets when he knows that his best friends has the major hots for his younger sister and he knows that the relationship is going to work out fine. All I can think of during those scenes "Would you quit smiling like that dammit! It's unnerving!"

Hobbit love, so very, very canon.

The presenttation of the sword scene is rather a funny joke in my movie going group. At the scene a friend of mine screamed out BooooYAH!! And from now of it is refered to as the "booyah" scene. The timing is just right for it too. . . ^_^

And the only things I could think of for the Spider scene is "Neat~!" and "This is so much better then Harry Potter!"

You can read my stupid silly comments on it here. But it's not very good as I had seen a midnight showing and I still was not really awake. http://www.livejournal.com/users/maboroshi_korax/115553.html#cutid1

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the whole audience claps and cheered when Gandalf kicked Denethor's ass.

heh, in my showing everyone just laughed because it was all like "'rant rant RANT'---*clunk* thank you Gandalf!"

At the scene a friend of mine screamed out BooooYAH!!

::imagines that with Elrond's eye-popping::

::DIES::

[aea]

Eowyn was lovely. Gandalf rocked. Frodo did gurk. And Sam. *melts into a pool of mushy goo*.
I just finally started reading the books; love the movies but the books are amazing.
My squeeing occurs here.

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And Sam. *melts into a pool of mushy goo*.

I KNOW! And he opened that metaphorical can of whooop-ass too! ::is so proud of hobbits::

and yeah, ALL the hobbit got a bit of chance to kick ass except for Frodo, and as for him??

naaaaaaaked hobbitsessssss....

well. half-naked.

but still v. pretty.

[girlpearl]

And the weird hairdo's.
Like this:
"We're about to go fling ourselves at the Black Gate in a last-ditch, desperate attempt to distract the Forces of Evil while Frodo wibbles and wusses about, the bastard completes his quest... so hey, Aragorn, don't you think it's time you finally let me do your hair all pretty? C'mon, braids!"
"Oh, all right, Legolas. But only because we're about to die horribly."
"Wheee!"
For more wibbling and crap: my thoughts.
Also, Eowyn, you know, seeing the movie the second time, I couldn't think of one reason why, as Aragorn, I would've chosen Arwen over Eowyn. I think *I* am in love with Eowyn. Stupid Aragorn.

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::falls out of chair laughing at your convo::

as for Eowyn? I think it's that she's not so classically pretty. And maybe perhaps that cleft in her chin...

[capricioussylph.livejournal.com]

Hobbit love is so very very canon. And the sword presentation scene made me giggle madly. That has to be the longest pan of a sword in movie history.

Another author like that is Robert Jordan and The Wheel of Time series. There are parts of the books were you just have to sit back and go, 'what did you just c/p that from Tolkien?'

My RotK babble is here. Though it is neither intelligent nor well thought out and I typed it up very late at night.

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actually, I tipped over laughing every few sentances. THAT is a keeper, m'darling!

And yeah Hobbit/anything that moves is just. dude. And they're all fighting to the death for the hobbitses and the naaaaaked hobbitsessss and the crying hobbitses and the "let me be on my knees for the hobbitses" and bringing that whole crowd rippling down and the Look of Love. The *SEVERVAL* and *MULTIPLE* and *PLENTIFUL* Looks of Love and. Eyefucks, anyone? ::covers face and laughs helplessly::

[babyomlet.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/babyomlet/376700.html

It's not perfect, but just more of an overview on how and why I liked it - I think. LOL

YES! I remember STRINGS!

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strings?? the violins or the web thingys?

[moonwhip.livejournal.com]

My ROTK thoughts are here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/moonwhip/264492.html), and glitterdemon has an exhaustive memory list of people's ROTK reviews here (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=glitterdemon&keyword=Return+of+the+King&filter=all).

I felt pretty much the same way about the movie -- I loved it, I thought it was amazing, but I don't think I would've loved it nearly as much if I hadn't read the books. Because I had, I could mentally fill in things that were missing from the movie.

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ooo, thankee for the links, and yeah extended edition ...::crosses fingers::

[berne.livejournal.com]

No mention of oil-covered Faramir? Pft. Shame on you. *nudges icon*

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oh! you're QUITE right! and I also forgot about the Flashlight of Doom!! ::smacks head:: That'll be in an upcoming post, no doubt about it...

[slyzucchinio.livejournal.com]

Why yes, you ARE the funniest person I have yet seen on Livejournal, and for that, and for Antonio and Johnny Depp, I will now add you to my friends' list.


*pees in pants at having finally found such a person*

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awww thanks. =)