disturbances

[permetaform]

Okay, been reading several rants in various places and. just.

Dammit.

Let me state this: I am an *American*, and I still believe that there's something worth saving.

I *am* American, for how it's shaped me, for how I am and had been and will be, even as it tries to cast me out (through media and culture and what have you) for being female. for being asian.

I love America, perhaps in the same way I love my family, because it's *my* country.

But you remember me talking about my family, right?

...

yes.

Because I still cry as America seems to crumble, even as I cheer at ever little improvement. Because America's stupid at times and idiotic sometimes and **goddammit** sometimes.

sometimes, America, I hate you.

sometimes, America, I despair and I hate you and I grieve and I hate you and I cry and I hate you, I hate you for what you have become.

But always, always, (do you know?) I am an American.

I still believe that that there is something here worth saving.

_{forgive me.}