So I finally saw Return of the King

Here I lay down my various musings, criticisms, squee's and snark.

( Because, really, why *was* Elrond wearing a corset?? )

( ...and a note on the music... )

( ...and ponderings, questions, and final reaction. )

Oh! Did anyone else post any thoughts about RotK and wouldn't mind sharing a link? I know I skimmed aLOT of cut-tags this past month, but I'm not sure where to start looking...

RotK and various recs...

Te has killed me once again:

Other People's Problems by thete1
[quote]
Looking for Batman. Right. "Is there some kind of emergency Justice League thing that I'll be reading about tomorrow?" There. That didn't sound *too* bitter.

"What? Oh, no. I'm just..." Vague hand gesture, too fast to actually make out. "You know. Visiting."

Tim looks at him.

"Wow, can you do that with both eyebrows?"

Tim demonstrates, mostly on purpose. Mostly.
[/quote]

I warn you ahead of time that is going to be pretty near empty unless you have some awareness of the Batman mythos and where Te's coming from regarding Justice League, Flash as a character, and Batman's family/issues/relationships.

This *isn't* a fic where you can go in blind, it's a fic for a specific target audience, assumes that the reader is aware of certain things, and *dives* right in. And it *gut-punches* you in not only the subtle and not-so-subtle angst, but also in the *humor* and the characterizations and the situations.

It's a cat's cradle of a story, and the whole is this awesome fragile web and it throws what you know into murky relief and three-dimensional shadow...

[]

And copperbadge answers a challenge and beautifully too...stories of pirates told by the best storyteller of 'em all, Captain Jack Sparrow...

[]

Speaking of which:

LotR Character Deathmatches

Aragorn vs. Jack Sparrow
Who is the mangiest of them all???

glee!!

[]

ok, this is a new thing to rec, buuuuut:

slyzucchinio's profile is wonderful and hilarious and feral *goldfish*.

[quote]
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and purchasing large quantities of concrete. I have been known to remodel Super Wal*Marts during my lunch hour, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees; I write award-winning operas; I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for four days in a row. I can control men with my intriguing and all the same godlike kazoo playing. I can pilot tricycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in less than twenty minutes.
[/quote]

[]

umm. wow.

absolutely hot as fuck fanart that are nevertheless worksafe:

Snape

and

Lucius

::fans self::

[]

okay, I've been going over the various RotK reviews and I see that I'll have to make posts later of wonderful hilarious snarkings and thoughtful discussion...

y'know everyone keeps on going on about the signal fires. I'm wondering if I would've had that reaction too had my mom not been repeatedly laughing next to me.

What affected me more though was the first view of Minas Tirth. That just blew me away...

but wow reading this and I could understand, about the signal fires, and it makes sense now...

remind me to never watch movies (that I hadn't seen before) with my mother again.

But, seriously tho? I feel that I can't fully blame her for laughing inappropriately, because this isn't her culture and it's hard for her to follow along with the language.

Which is interesting in itself how there's VISUAL themes within a culture that can't carry over; or at least, not without a good grasp of dialogue as well.

This would apply to musical themes/cliches as well. I've noticed how much the fluting pipes always makes me tear up when paired up with battleground scenes. I wonder how much of that is because of these vague Gettysburg movies I remember watching in highschool or middleschool

[]

a note on the het pairings:

On the Aragorn/Arwen thing versus the Aragorn/Eowyn, I'm leaning more towards the Aragorn/Arwen. ::ducks and hides::

Yeah, I know Eowyn kicks ass and I love her something grand, and Eowyn's able to keep up and hold her own in a battle far more than Arwen probably can, but it seems like Eowyn looks at Aragorn as The Hope of the People...and going back to my Aragorn-as-Harry-Potter argument, it makes sense to me that Aragorn doesn't want to be constantly looked up to and depended upon.

Meanwhile Arwen's known him and loved him as the Ranger, as that dirty greasy kid who stalks hobbits. And I think Aragorn needs that; as King and Ass-Kicker Extraordinaire, everyone's looking up to him and placing all this burden on his shoulders, and I think that it's probably better for him emotionally and mentally, in terms of a 'best match', that he's paired up with Arwen...He was reluctant about the crown anyways and I'd think he'd want someone around who couldn't care *less* about that silly trinket on his head...

[]

last note before I putter off to read more reviews:

I think the LotR movie trilogy is the BEST argument, and hey, even physical *proof*, there is to why dvds and computer rips will NEVER replace the big-screen. It won't work, not for movies that operate on this gorgeous grand scale.

Unfortunately that means that we're in for a streak of gratuitous action flick, unless you count the Sequel Splurg of 2003 as that...

However, if the industry people understood what's happened to the box office this past year at ALL (Nemo, PotC, RotK), they'd understand the value of plot and good acting to a good action flick.

And that? Would make my heart unspeakably happy.

distillation of RotK snark from across the LJ...

I've been pointed to quite aLOT of entries and some of them are just too priceless to be believed and I MUST gather the quotes for a rainy day...

So massive quotage ahoy!

( Warning: therein shall lie oiled!Faramir comments, references to the Flashlight of Doom (aka. the eternal red-eye), phallic symbol humor, and much irreverence. Will not be held accountable should anyone choose to read while drinking liquids. )

I'll post a bit later a discussion of the various reviews that were serious, with links to my faves, but scanning the various posts, I just-- I mean it--

::covers face at some of the reviews::

okay.

y'know, if ya'll are really *that* pissed about the whole kiss thing, I supposed there could be a mass petition started to redo the movie and re-cast Orlando Bloom as Arwen.

Really, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch.

And Liv Tyler could play Legolas and then ya'll would have a dark-haired elf and it's not like you'd lose a stellar performance either way...