vid thoughts from the vidding meme

[permetaform]

Just been thinking over some of the comments I got from the vidding truth meme and talking it over with lierdumoa and fashes this weekend, and while I'd realized before how much I'm driven by things I like and how much energy I get from being happy, it never quite hit me until now how much I was the most deeply invested in those of my vids that are about joy. Whether it was about being broken and finding your buttress (The Fragile), about pulling away from hurtful addiction (Gravity), about never being able to be enough or to do enough with the exception of loving hard enough (After Midnight), about getting your heart broken and reaching for love again and again (In The Breakdown), about being broken and breaking things and still still finding a place that will embrace you (Welcome Home)...these vids took the most out of me, frustrated the most out of me, demanded the most out of me because, well...I...want to bottle joy.

I want to show how to smile, with ash in your mouth. I want to show hands that hold and create both blood and beauty.

I want to show this bittersweet happiness in as clear a way as possible on as many levels as possible, because I want to try to communicate this feeling and I know that people communicate in different ways. So it's good to know from the meme that my vids aren't connecting emotionally, so that I know to try harder.

::HUGS:: to those who've commented on my thread, thank you for letting me know.

Comments

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I want to show how to smile, with ash in your mouth. I want to show hands that hold and create both blood and beauty.

Yes. Just...yes. I do that, too.

I think sometimes I'm coming at it from the opposite way: showing the joy and then how it is undercut by sorrow. But I'm always aiming for bittersweet, too; to show how life is made of pain and grace.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Lately I have been trying to show something similar in my vids; I think what I'm actually aiming for is a sense of balance. Things are not all good or all bad; all funny or all tragic. There are elements of both in everything. Especially in humor, which I have difficulty serving up straight. And, actually, now that I think about it, my next vid is exactly about this balance. Hm.

Thanks for these interesting thoughts. :)

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I think part of this is about our attraction to particular kinds of dramatic shows and movies. I imagine we might feel differently if our primary universes were, say, Star Wars and Seinfeld. (: Nourished as we have been on complex and bittersweet stories that seem to leave room for hope no matter what despair befalls, it's only natural to want to vid that way.

[permetaform]

::ponders:: huh. I think...I think I must try that then, but it'll probably end up being 6 min long 'cause I need to both take them there and then take them back. ...::chews on idea::