Mondays.

[permetaform]

Mondays are...actually not that bad of a day of week for me. Considering. (Wednesdays are my Mondays this semester.)

Awesome time this weekend spending it with various groups of friends (::glomps lierdumoa, fashes, and hannahorlove::) and working on an editing project which is, really methinks, the best b-day present ever 'cause there was no drama that wasn't hilarious and no work that I didn't honestly enjoy (despite my boss being artistically challenged) and I feel perky and all refreshed now, despite the odd sleeping thing.

Speaking of which, I gave up and figured that I really don't mesh well with the 24 hr sleep schedule and am trying different ones. Given that I *need* something like 8~9 hrs of sleep and can't stay awake for more than ~17 hrs, I'm gonna try the 26 hr cycle first, and barring that, the 28 hr one. Hopefully my circadian rhythm isn't, like, odd-numbered 'cause then I'd be even more screwed than I already am.

Granted, the Uberman sleep cycle is tempting 'cause it puts more hrs into your day, but dude, I HAVE to stay awake for more than 5 hrs at a time, so this is a no-go. Even more important, I really like to sleep. ::wry grin::

Contemplation for the day, esp. after yesterday's Grey's Anatomy, is applied insanity, or applicable crazyness. 'Cause like, while I logically know that I'm wierd and not completely sane, I sometimes forget to apply it to myself when trying to...hmm. I guess the word is to "self-improve"? Like, that weirdness is, in a way, uniqueness. Like, insanity is, in a way, thinking differently from others. And that uniqueness and not-thinking-like-others is, in the end, just a tool.

It is, in the end, no better or worse than the quality of ambition; which can be used badly (see: Voldemort) or it can be applied and get you to where you can do good (see: Rodney McKay).

The fact of being 'weird' is that it, by definition, sets you apart. It by definition makes it harder to blend in, while at the same time being 'unique' makes it easier to be "the life of the party", if properly applied. The fact of 'not-thinking-like-others' is that it is easier to get ideas that others don't arrive at so quickly, and the fact of 'insanity' is that it is harder to understand what others find easy,

And I forget this sometimes. And what makes it even more difficult, is that being 'wierd' is tied to being 'not-thinking-like-others', and the fact that I can suppress being wierd up to a point, to better communicate, but by this suppression I am handicapping the way that I think.

Then there's the other part of applicable crazy which is, to be honest, what I think to be a mild case of OCD. Granted, it's not as if fandom's not welcoming of the obsessive (or rather, y'know, focused), but I think it's partly genetic from the mother's side 'cause she shows mild symptoms too. But here's the thing: if I manage to mostly channel the obsessiveness into productive things, what's the harm? My apartment is clean despite my roommates, I'm finally happy with my future career, and my rituals keep me stable and grounded and are mild enough to be non-intrusive.

The thing is, I think, to make sure that the obsessiveness doesn't spill over into things I don't want it to, to make sure the "focus" stays focused on the things that needs the focus. (Instead of, say, losing several days in a black hole of gaming when I really can't afford it. ::wry grin::) Meh. Gonna try to notice it more, so I can direct it elsewhere when it's happening instead of waking up several days later, so I'm starting a journal to that effect.

In other news, I am woefully behind on vidder_weekly but will attempt to catch up...::checks shiny new 26hr schedule:: tomorrow morning. =D

Comments

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

I would hate to think like 'most people'. 'Most people', judging by polls and studies and viewing figures, seem to like spending their spare time watching soaps and reality TV shows on a shallow level, rather than doing things that make their imagination burn and scream, 'What if?' and then running with it for as long as it takes to find an answer.

I love being weird and obsessive, being able to forget about dull things like the cleaning and lose myself for days in whatever's eating me at the time. Sure, my family don't understand me and I don't understand them. But I wouldn't trade into being like them and entirely wrapped up in daily life with so little room for imagination for anything.

Be weird! Be special! Be you!

[no-detective.livejournal.com]

And what makes it even more difficult, is that being 'wierd' is tied to being 'not-thinking-like-others', and the fact that I can suppress being wierd up to a point, to better communicate, but by this suppression I am handicapping the way that I think.

You know, sometimes I can relate to your posts so much that it scares me a little.

*hugs*

*more because I need it than you do*

I've been suffering from insomnia since I was about five years old. I managed with the cycles you described for most of my life, usually going from 26-hr to 28-hr one and back; but once I got a full-time job to go with my part-time studies, all bets were off. Now I'm just winging it through the week and catching up on the weekend.

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

The 26 hour sleep thing sounds really interesting. I'd love to have a longer day, but sadly my timetable does not allow it. :( Still, it'd be cool to hear how it goes for you.

[permetaform]

=D ::grins and GLOMPS you::

[permetaform]

::hugs back::

aaah, eep. I know what you mean. There's nothing that would fit your schedule at all??

[permetaform]

If you miss a nap, you seriously crash big time. It's dangerous, and really hard on your system.

::nods:: it sounded like that. And it appears like you need about 15 days to adjust and I don't have that much vacation time...


Only super nerds make it. Programmers who don't go out for much, or so I've heard. ^^;; Then again, DJ is a special brand of crazy.

Heee! yeah, people with large projects during those 15 days that doesn't need much detail work. I'm gonna try for something less insane than that =D

[permetaform]

ahh, yeah, it kinda requires a lenient thursday and friday schedule ::wry grin:: I hope this timetable will work out for me in the future, after I graduate. We'll see.

[no-detective.livejournal.com]

Not really. It was easier when I was in grad school because I had a few weekdays off. But I manage somehow - it helps that I work afternoons and evenings rather than mornings. :)

[permetaform]

ohhh, yeah. that *would* help, I notice that sunlight really really helps me wake up when I wouldn't normally. And if that doesn't work for you...maybe a salt crystal lamp? Or a full-spectrum one? I heard that those help with the managing circadium rhythm thing.

[no-detective.livejournal.com]

I haven't tried anything with light because I don't really feel like it's a factor for me. My sleep cycle gets most seriously annoying when I'm stressed out, because then I can't even do naps which I can usually take at any time when I get too exhausted. But otherwise, it's manageable. (Or maybe I feel that way now because I just had 14 hours of sleep... *g*)

[permetaform]

::gigglesnort:: yeah, I've been catching up on sleep for spring break, I feel all rested and complacent...