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Mondays are...actually not that bad of a day of week for me. Considering. (Wednesdays are my Mondays this semester.)
Awesome time this weekend spending it with various groups of friends (::glomps![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lierdumoa, fashes, and hannahorlove::) and working on an editing project which is, really methinks, the best b-day present ever 'cause there was no drama that wasn't hilarious and no work that I didn't honestly enjoy (despite my boss being artistically challenged) and I feel perky and all refreshed now, despite the odd sleeping thing.
Speaking of which, I gave up and figured that I really don't mesh well with the 24 hr sleep schedule and am trying different ones. Given that I *need* something like 8~9 hrs of sleep and can't stay awake for more than ~17 hrs, I'm gonna try the 26 hr cycle first, and barring that, the 28 hr one. Hopefully my circadian rhythm isn't, like, odd-numbered 'cause then I'd be even more screwed than I already am.
Granted, the Uberman sleep cycle is tempting 'cause it puts more hrs into your day, but dude, I HAVE to stay awake for more than 5 hrs at a time, so this is a no-go. Even more important, I really like to sleep. ::wry grin::
Contemplation for the day, esp. after yesterday's Grey's Anatomy, is applied insanity, or applicable crazyness. 'Cause like, while I logically know that I'm wierd and not completely sane, I sometimes forget to apply it to myself when trying to...hmm. I guess the word is to "self-improve"? Like, that weirdness is, in a way, uniqueness. Like, insanity is, in a way, thinking differently from others. And that uniqueness and not-thinking-like-others is, in the end, just a tool.
It is, in the end, no better or worse than the quality of ambition; which can be used badly (see: Voldemort) or it can be applied and get you to where you can do good (see: Rodney McKay).
The fact of being 'weird' is that it, by definition, sets you apart. It by definition makes it harder to blend in, while at the same time being 'unique' makes it easier to be "the life of the party", if properly applied. The fact of 'not-thinking-like-others' is that it is easier to get ideas that others don't arrive at so quickly, and the fact of 'insanity' is that it is harder to understand what others find easy,
And I forget this sometimes. And what makes it even more difficult, is that being 'wierd' is tied to being 'not-thinking-like-others', and the fact that I can suppress being wierd up to a point, to better communicate, but by this suppression I am handicapping the way that I think.
Then there's the other part of applicable crazy which is, to be honest, what I think to be a mild case of OCD. Granted, it's not as if fandom's not welcoming of the obsessive (or rather, y'know, focused), but I think it's partly genetic from the mother's side 'cause she shows mild symptoms too. But here's the thing: if I manage to mostly channel the obsessiveness into productive things, what's the harm? My apartment is clean despite my roommates, I'm finally happy with my future career, and my rituals keep me stable and grounded and are mild enough to be non-intrusive.
The thing is, I think, to make sure that the obsessiveness doesn't spill over into things I don't want it to, to make sure the "focus" stays focused on the things that needs the focus. (Instead of, say, losing several days in a black hole of gaming when I really can't afford it. ::wry grin::) Meh. Gonna try to notice it more, so I can direct it elsewhere when it's happening instead of waking up several days later, so I'm starting a journal to that effect.
In other news, I am woefully behind on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
vidder_weekly but will attempt to catch up...::checks shiny new 26hr schedule:: tomorrow morning. =D
Awesome time this weekend spending it with various groups of friends (::glomps
lierdumoa, fashes, and hannahorlove::) and working on an editing project which is, really methinks, the best b-day present ever 'cause there was no drama that wasn't hilarious and no work that I didn't honestly enjoy (despite my boss being artistically challenged) and I feel perky and all refreshed now, despite the odd sleeping thing. Speaking of which, I gave up and figured that I really don't mesh well with the 24 hr sleep schedule and am trying different ones. Given that I *need* something like 8~9 hrs of sleep and can't stay awake for more than ~17 hrs, I'm gonna try the 26 hr cycle first, and barring that, the 28 hr one. Hopefully my circadian rhythm isn't, like, odd-numbered 'cause then I'd be even more screwed than I already am.
Granted, the Uberman sleep cycle is tempting 'cause it puts more hrs into your day, but dude, I HAVE to stay awake for more than 5 hrs at a time, so this is a no-go. Even more important, I really like to sleep. ::wry grin::
Contemplation for the day, esp. after yesterday's Grey's Anatomy, is applied insanity, or applicable crazyness. 'Cause like, while I logically know that I'm wierd and not completely sane, I sometimes forget to apply it to myself when trying to...hmm. I guess the word is to "self-improve"? Like, that weirdness is, in a way, uniqueness. Like, insanity is, in a way, thinking differently from others. And that uniqueness and not-thinking-like-others is, in the end, just a tool.
It is, in the end, no better or worse than the quality of ambition; which can be used badly (see: Voldemort) or it can be applied and get you to where you can do good (see: Rodney McKay).
The fact of being 'weird' is that it, by definition, sets you apart. It by definition makes it harder to blend in, while at the same time being 'unique' makes it easier to be "the life of the party", if properly applied. The fact of 'not-thinking-like-others' is that it is easier to get ideas that others don't arrive at so quickly, and the fact of 'insanity' is that it is harder to understand what others find easy,
And I forget this sometimes. And what makes it even more difficult, is that being 'wierd' is tied to being 'not-thinking-like-others', and the fact that I can suppress being wierd up to a point, to better communicate, but by this suppression I am handicapping the way that I think.
Then there's the other part of applicable crazy which is, to be honest, what I think to be a mild case of OCD. Granted, it's not as if fandom's not welcoming of the obsessive (or rather, y'know, focused), but I think it's partly genetic from the mother's side 'cause she shows mild symptoms too. But here's the thing: if I manage to mostly channel the obsessiveness into productive things, what's the harm? My apartment is clean despite my roommates, I'm finally happy with my future career, and my rituals keep me stable and grounded and are mild enough to be non-intrusive.
The thing is, I think, to make sure that the obsessiveness doesn't spill over into things I don't want it to, to make sure the "focus" stays focused on the things that needs the focus. (Instead of, say, losing several days in a black hole of gaming when I really can't afford it. ::wry grin::) Meh. Gonna try to notice it more, so I can direct it elsewhere when it's happening instead of waking up several days later, so I'm starting a journal to that effect.
In other news, I am woefully behind on
vidder_weekly but will attempt to catch up...::checks shiny new 26hr schedule:: tomorrow morning. =D
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aaah, eep. I know what you mean. There's nothing that would fit your schedule at all??
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