Day The Nth, I Try Again

[permetaform]

Day The Nth, I Try Again


I, one
day by one day by
one they (only one), they (won,)
broke, it seems, me.

I move
one day
buy one day, dearly (one day),
so I won, that day,
just by getting up.

I make
small headway
like highways in my headspace
brain small in my headcase
like a basketcase or a bodybrace,
I want arms that are mine.

I armed
the food going in and the feed going out
the smile with which I hide
my teeth are
farmland sowed with mines, birds with detonator eyes,
even as I negotiate carefully through to
avoid nuclear self-destruction.

I, habit
on my head, habitually lie
in a bed inhabited by the shits I made
myself, formed by the ghost of christmases
that I was not allowed to attend;
it's habit of the sun to brand skin red and going out means
welts (from exposure where it wasn't already
blushing from bed sores), I feel fake.

I knows
about the door
like a mouse around an opened cage, peeking
at the cheese outside (I am
both the mouse and the cage and the cheese and the broken glass
in-between the cage and the cheese), which means time
to dance myself on a floor of broken glass, the price of movement
from water to land-and-air, from womb to my own two feet, the blood
a paste to piece the glass into a mirror
that views me less distorted.

I, one,
only won ever
by pushing the press
of editors circling "they won" with ink
fed from my veins, they finger me
their sins onto my hands smeared with their black,
of their newsprint shame, that I choose to smear in turn,
rearrange, make my own;
it is me who is black and white and red all over,
an answer I am trying to find.

Comments

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

That's an intriguing set of images.

I was completely unable to process it until I tried reading out loud. And then it reminded me by turns of Ani diFranco and a certain beat poet who's name escapes me at the moment.

[tigress35.livejournal.com]

What email addy do you check most? Because, OMG did you hear?! DUMBLEDORE REALLY IS GAY!