........

[permetaform]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/theferrett/466248.html

holy SHIT.

there are no words for how much I bless my HS right now.

no.

fucking.

words.

Comments

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm aware of that. This isn't a uniform-crazed type place though-- it's a place where they pretty clearly have no tolerance for bullshit, and where being smart is prized. People who come out of that place come out like our very own permetaform-- confident and smart and not having to learn how to be decent to people.

[winter]

And then they wonder where the entitlement bitches come from, and why Americans in general are considered so rude. Or why America's therapist heaven ~_~

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

I was flatter then than I was now

...? XD

Just picking on your typo, Perma. But yeah, this makes me go over the god-why-couldn't-I-have-gotten-my-act-together-then problem.

Not that I'm totally with-it now, lookswise. You can't really do much of anything when you even don't fill an A *pushup* bra. >_>;; And I don't even have the excuse of being Asian and it "supposed" to be like that! >_<

Anyways, thanks for linking the thread. It's making me grateful for my HS, bad as it was in its ways, overall--I lucked out BIGTIME. ::praises your and my HSs equally::

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

Sounds good. As long as a lack of "being smart" doesn't become a point of bullying...

...god, I'm getting so paranoid. The whole thread is reminding me of how many ways things can go wrong, and do go wrong. ^_^;;

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

Well, early-blooming is another thing altogether; they were just immature. I'm sure it became a good thing in short order.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

If 'in short order' means 'when she graduated,' I guess you're right. The accusations of cosmetic surgery went right up through 12th grade.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Dude, tell me about it. I couldn't even go through the whole series of comments it was so memory-bringing-back. Ugh.

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

O_o I thought guys (well, straight ones) generally liked breasts. Isn't that the sort of thing people usually file under "they're just jealous"? Still sucks, of course...

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

They liked breasts, just not on smart girls who knew how to talk back.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I just read a little bit, but it makes me relieved, a bit, that I didn't have it so bad as that. My high school was fine, not particularly great or horrible, but I hated middle school. 6th grade was my year of hell when I was at the very bottom of the social structure. On the other hand... I was *so* far down that I actually wasn't the most horribly mocked person of my grade, I was just ignored and lonely. 7th and 8th grade were better, because I made friends with 2 new girls and basically created my own small social circle from scratch, but I still loathed middle school, evne when I had good friends. I would cut the school part of those years out of my life if I could.

[weyrlady.livejournal.com]

My worst time was actually in elementary school, before fifth grade. One of the things about me then (and still true now) is that I latch on to my friends pretty hard. So when I went from a preschool where I was basically the leader, to a first grade where I knew no one, I was miserable. Stayed miserable for four years, but in fifth grade I actually made friends with a girl who had her own group, and joined it.

I went to a private Quaker middle and high school and managed to miss most of it. Again, I missed my old friends badly and spent sixth and seventh grades with my nose stuck in a book, ignoring everyone else. The one time some of the popular boys tried to tease me, we ended up in a knock-down, drag-out fight that the teachers had to break up. most people thought I won- he had visible bruises for days after while the few I had were mostly covered by clothes. No one bothered me after that.

In high school, I immediately made friends with the geek group, most of whom were two years older than ando ended up dating a senior in that group the whole year, something not even the popular girls dreamed of. So I ignored them, they ignored me.

I think I was lucky in general, but I also think I went to a nicer school than most. I can't think of any one who was obviously and constantly bullied.

[aliaswestgate.livejournal.com]

I've read through the entire thread, Permeta-san. I dunno if it's because i'm 10 or more years yrs removed from the events or that i'm three times as stubborn about the harassment i did have. I went to school as the only mixed child in a hugely caucasian area, because the town was so small.

I started out fine in elementary. Then it didn't matter that i was mulitracial, adopted. That i knew what the concepts meant and didn't mind telling people outright when my parents(who are caucasian) got weird looks in public. I didn't care at all then. The only thing i'd been teased about for a little bit was that i called my Mom, 'Mum' a few times. Something i'd picked up since she is Canadian, and calls Gramma that. Didn't help that one set of my god parents hails from Liverpool, England either. ^_^ But that just breezed over compared to what happened later.

Junior high changed that. Both boys and girls latched onto the fact that i was smart, alone and at that point growing my hair out. Somewhere, someone along the line in 6th grade started calling me 'afro'. From then on i heard it from every day, around the corner from everyone but my closest friends. I only had 2 of them. I was never much for heavy socilization by nature, but that hurt. Those friends made no move to defend me, but we enjoyed each other's company. I also had choir to keep me in school. I hadn't had that i probably would have dropped out. I simply lost myself in the songs, even with my still immature voice. I could carry a tune, i loved what i did. I still kept up with grades and kept to myself, but it never let up.

It didn't until 8th grade. There was a new boy, he was cute enough to make even the popular girls drool. I made friends with him by being myself. I've always said hi to the new people, when everyone else was embarrassed. The taunts of 'afro' and 'afro angie' gradually stopped. Because he was the darling of all the girls--and he was my friend. Yes he was cute, but he was sarcastic. Intelligent, and had a penchant for wearing Metallica t-shirts. He wasnt' overly popular then, but he was a rogue and for a while we were friends. It was long enough to end the namecalling that had destroyed my confidence and self-esteem. The teachers never stopped it.

By 8th grade i'd discovered relaxers of a strength that didn't 'fry' my hair to a crisp, of which i wanted. I was tired of heavy snarls and not being able to work with my hair in any way. Previously id' even tried to fit in with everyone, following trends. Still made me depressed, so i stopped that. So right at about the same time, i'd found a way to manage my annoyingly unique hair, and a friend to end the harassment.

High school was easier. I was still heavily into choir, but the harassment stopped. It took me until 11th grade to rebuild most of my confidence, bit by bit. I ended up hanging out in a group of geeks no one would touch, just because we were ourselves. In a school of 1600 kids, that's saying something. We had a calc genius, and an engineering genius both of them male. Our little group played Euchre or Magic:The Gathering. I was reading shakespeare in my spare time, or sheet music for the Choral i was a happy member of. I'd even had some geniune voice classes on scholarship. So i'd found a way to be happy on my own. Authority hadn't done shit, all i'd done was make a path for myself. I also stopped caring about the popularity food chain, which made the biggest difference. They ceased to intimidate me from then on. I think my decision to enlist in the USAF had something to do with that, in the 10th grade.

That was my pubic school. The ironic thing about the entire escapade of harassment, was in junior high? I'd gone to school since i was 5 with at least a third of those kids doing the harassment! But having been a loner by nature that wasn't overly social even then, i stuck out in several ways. Intelligence not the least of them.

I still have a huge dislike of cliques, but i'm willing to talk to anyone for the sheer joy of it. I didn't let them win. I may not have fought back, but i was winning in the psychological front, which is more than i could say for a lot of people i went to class with.

[permetaform]

o.o

::blush:: awww! ::glomps::

[permetaform]

::giggles:: yeah, didn't catch that. Even now, it's like I can stretch, and "look ma! no boobs!"

It makes me wonder tho, how many people *do* end up with a decent HS experience (alls considered) and, perhaps, where they are geographically...

[permetaform]

::snuggleglomps::

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

where they are geographically...

The first half (sheer quantity) makes me think too, but this bit about location is a true Permaism. I'd've never thought to organize people that way. maybe certain areas are really bad? I wonder what the people on ferret's journal would say.

[tiltingheartand]

I actually don't remember much of elementary school, and when I moved back up here (up here being NY, from NC where we'd been living) in seventh grade I actually found friends who were -- oh my GOD -- trustworthy. And despite what a lot of people say about high school, I'm not finding it terribly difficult.

(I try not to think about sixth grade terribly often. It was a bad year in my life for more reasons than just school -- that was the year my parents fought and fought and then at the end of the year they split -- so I think that was part of the reason the kids hurt me so much. Having read through the thread, I realize that what I went through wasn't nearly as bad as it could've been.)

[maymorning.livejournal.com]

I was bullied by girls and boys at high school. My parents didn't care and the teachers didn't care either. That is why now, aged 44, I still have clinical depression.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

I developed in primary school, had one boy dubbing me Dolly Pardon. Hilarious now that I think back to my mozzy bite size at the time.

[guede-mazaka.livejournal.com]

It worked the same way in secondary school

Over here, middle school is when they start the college-like class structure: you have a different set of people for a different class.

Sometimes I wonder if sex-ed class had much to do with things. It is scientifically shown that adolescent mood swings stem from changes in hormone levels, but I remember that info being presented in my school as if the kids couldn't help it in any way, as if you can't learn to control it to some extent. We're just supposed to be nasty and weepy and work it all out of our systems by the end of high school, when we magically turn into mature adults. *shrugs* I may just have an unusual school system.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

::hugs yooooou::

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

::hugs to you::

My nephew's going to be in a similar situation in a couple of years. I hope it won't be bad for him (but fear it will be), but I hope he gets through it the way you did.

[cicer.livejournal.com]

Middle and high schools are horrible, horrible places. Those were the worst years of my life, no question. Why so many people put up with it and don't just homeschool their kids or put them in independent studies programs the way my parents did, I will never know. That absolutely saved my sanity.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

I could make the general teasing stop by escalating it on their first effort. I'd hit them.
Not the 'right' thing to do but it stopped fairly quickly.

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (unless of course it's tomorrow where you are)

[aliaswestgate.livejournal.com]

Things have changed a bit since the 80s and 90s when that occurred. I was also in a very small town. So those may make a difference. Society is becoming gradually more accepting of those that were once ostracized for simply being an obvious racial mixture. ^_^ Good luck to your nephew!

The only reason i got through it, was that i was twice as stubborn as those doing the harassment. I believe it's called tenacity. *evil grin*

Kinda why i can get into Gojyo's head so easily too. Being neither one nor the other, and dont' give a crap otherwise. Also being too tough to take down, no matter what gets tossed at us. But i'd never wish it on anyone else--ever.