........

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http://www.livejournal.com/users/theferrett/466248.html

holy SHIT.

there are no words for how much I bless my HS right now.

no.

fucking.

words.

Comments

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

I read that post several days ago with my mouth open the whole time. It's truly, truly horrible what those folks went through. I was so grateful that my experience had not been like that.

[knightvision.livejournal.com]

It's disgusting. I've always had the mindset that there is nothing worse than a teenage girl. There is nothing meaner, there is nothing more heartless, and there is nothing colder.

I went to a very stereotypical high school. If you weren't "in" with the top cliques of the food chain (and I wasn't, though I'm proud to say that I wasn't by choice), you were subject to horrific rumours and bad treatment. It was dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest.

Personally? I don't want my future child(ren) being raised and taught (academically AND socially) in an environment like that. I don't care if most parents use "Kids will be kids, teens will be teens" or anything like that for excuses. There is no excuse for that sort of behaviour.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

*shakes head* Doesn't surprise me.

I was under-the-radar popular in high school, but the majority of those posts sum up my elementary school experience to a tee. Now, looking back as an adult, it's just mind-boggling how willfully blind teachers and school administrators - not to mention parents, the bulk of who would never fathom that their innocent kidlets are capable of such a thing. A news program here in Canada did a special not too long ago about a clique of 5th grade girls and the psychologically abusive tactics they use every day - the parents just honestly had no idea.

[linzeestyle.livejournal.com]

Gah, high school. There is absolutely nothing worse in the world than a teenage girl - honestly. Boys are perhaps more physically violent, but IMHO the emotional scars girls inflict on one another last far longer than any bruises or broken bones the guys get. The sick thing is that, for the most part, there's nothing that can be done. My little sister had a friend that was being tormented ruthlessly, through the internet as well as in class, about various things (her weight among them, which ended up largely contributing to her becoming anorexic) - and the school's reaction was pretty much "They're just girls!"

Bastards. High school is a horrible place.

Linzee

[majinkarp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's how it was for me--I went to a very small, homogeneous school in a small, homogeneous town. Middle/high school is a time I'd like to forget. I believe my experiences there completely changed my personality and turned me into a different person than I would've been otherwise--for one thing, I went from being an outgoing, rambunctious child to an adult with pretty much no self-esteem.

The comments to that post were actually painful to read. >.

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

Odd; boys always were, and are, far more vicious to me than girls ever were. I passed under the social radar for girls, so I wasn't any threat or worth harassing; boys love to pick on people just because they can. Passing gauntlets to get to class and such. Loads of fun.

But people in general are pretty horrible, so I'm not surprised at the stories, either.

Also, dear, you're pretty. It's probably not the high school's doing. People are nice to you if you're pretty; that goes right under "gravity makes things fall down." ;)

[winter]

I just can't believe why people in the US let this happen. It's not inevitable - hell, I should know, I've gone to school in both Poland and France. There was a bit of bullying, namecalling etc, but I was lucky with homeroom teachers who always caught on and defused such situations pretty quickly. If anything, it was more boys vs girls in primary school...

[permetaform]

Also, dear, you're pretty.

::DIES:: okay, dude, I only got contact lenses and makeup when I headed into college. I was flatter then than I was now, breaking out like whoa, hair either an unmanageable oil slick or dry and snarly, and my teeth were in a horrible overbitten mess (when they first put in the wires, the wire went in zigzags). I went to one of those magnet HS, but even there I was one of those loners who sat alone in the library for lunch; my first friend there was also a loner who sat in the library.

trust me, it wasn't the 'pretty' factor.

speaking of bullies . . .

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

I was catching up with someone who had gone to my junior high years after me and asked about my favorite teacher (who had been a spinster (which is a bachelorette who's gone past her sell-by date) when I was in jr. high). She said, no, there's no teacher by that name.

My heart plummeted. She'd been out for health reasons during my seventh-grade year, and while it's inevitable your teachers will die someday, you know . . .

Then she said, "But Mrs. B- has been there forever anyhow. I don't know a Miss K-."

"B-" had been the surname of one of the biggest discipline problems in my jr. high class.

Apparently, she had *so* many problems with him that she had to meet with his (divorced? widowed?) father about it and they started dating.

Now she's his stepmother. 8-D

Re: speaking of bullies . . .

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.....


XD

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

And sometimes 'pretty' don't help.

I was a cute kid, but I wasn't girly. Therefore: "omg ur gey!"

I guess it's a YMMV situation whether the girls or guys hit you hardest; there were a few asshole boys who were annoying, but the girls were like this flock of bonepicking piranha-starling things. Ngh.

Mind, that was elementary school. In high school I decided I wasn't going to take this crap anymore, and evilly made sure that anyone who hassled me did so in view of a teacher who WOULD do something.

Mwa ha ahem.

[modernmouse.livejournal.com]

Same here. As a girl, I was always surprised that the boys felt it was ok to be nasty and hurtful to me. Isn't there a code about that? I think most girls igrnored me or at least waited until I wasn't around to be mean. But every experience that stands out in my memories as a bad high school experience was because of boys (and not in the 'because a boy dumped me' way, more like in the 'because a boy smashed my head into a locker or tore my art project' way.)

[iapetusneume.livejournal.com]

Actually, for me elementary school was the worst, then middle school. High school wasn't really that bad, since by then the students at my school finally started to mature. We had cliques, and I was never a member of really any of them. I was one of those girls that everyone knew - one of the "smart" ones, but also "one of the nice ones." I had a lot of friends, but no core group to hang out with until my senior year of high school. But, I agree that the biggest reason why women have self-esteem problems is due to their peers riduculing them.

Nothing, nothing, NOTHING compaires to being mistaken for the opposite gender and having it said to your face visciously. I lost count of the times I was asked if I was a boy, or even worse when people would whisper to each other loudly so they knew I could hear, saying "What is that THING?"

And my friends wonder why I have trouble accepting compliments....

[guede-mazaka.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to generalize, but having done informal follow-up on a few local incidents near me that hit the newspapers...a lot of school districts don't have the funding to hire enough teachers. Average class-teacher ratio in U. S. public schools is something like 30-35 kids to one teacher, I think; you get a school with 25 kids to a teacher and that's considered great. I don't remember exactly, but I believe class-teacher ratios in other countries are much lower.

[stone-princess.livejournal.com]

In some situations, it isn't just letting it happen, it's almost encouraged. "Survival of the fittest."

[poor-choices.livejournal.com]

I had a girl in elementary school who would ask me EVERY DAY walking to school, "Hey, are you a boy or a girl?" I like to think I eventually started saying "the same thing I was yesterday," but I honestly don't know if I just wanted to say that. She was one of those girls whom everyone else bullied, so I think she just treated me as someone she could finally outrank on the food chain.

[penm.livejournal.com]

High school sucks, but at least I'm not being pelted with used female menstrual products or something equally as horrifying. I did get into fisticuffs at elementary school but mostly people don't bother me and I don't bother them.

[fancyfox.livejournal.com]

*blesses it with you* Yeah. It was good for some things...

[iapetusneume.livejournal.com]

I would say that occasionally, but it rarely worked. And you point out something worth noting - some of the worst bullies are those who got picked on too.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Though some of that stuff was far more extreme than what I saw (though I didn't read the whole thread by far), I've got to say none of it surprised me that much.

There's a very good semiprivate high school around us, and I've sworn a hundred times that my kid's going there. I'm not doing that to my child; having crap like that done to me was bad enough.

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

There is a code, but unattractive women/girls don't count as women/girls to many people, I've discovered. ("All women are beautiful!", the flipside of which is... well, y'know.)

More likely and to the point, the kids who are brought up with chivalry/manners probably aren't the same louts who are shoving people around.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Yep. Though college did wonders for me. I can like, talk in crowds now and stuff. But if I hadn't had that, and if I hadn't been blessed with a wonderful family (for all I complain about them) there would have been so. much. damage.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Also, dear, you're pretty. It's probably not the high school's doing. People are nice to you if you're pretty; that goes right under "gravity makes things fall down.'
Oh, if only that were true. One of my HS friends who got breasts early was treated about the worst of all of us by the boys. She was and is very pretty. (I have a picture if you want to email me; PROOF!)

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

private does NOT equal nicer. trust me on this. i graduated with 48 girls and no guys after 13 years of Schoolbelles plaid uniforms, and while the outright violence was minimal to nonexistant, the verbal abuse went through the roof.

you just have to pray your kid gets a good collection of people around them, is all. it's ridiculous...

[winter]

Over here it was something like 30+ kids in one class (who had all their classes together), and I think in primary school (year 7 to year 14) all teachers but the gym coaches were assigned their own class - they'd get an additional period with them to make sure there were no problems etc. We had the perfect teacher in the first four years, she'd notice everything in minutes and solve it terribly smoothly. It worked the same way in secondary school (ok, more teachers didn't have their own classes since there were so many subjects), and there it helped that everyone in my school was a geek. We went with the entire class to see the first Matrix, for one...

I think the stable classes themselves might contribute to having less problems - even if there were quarrels and cliques in our class A (and there were, I even had a nemesis yay!), the moment someone from class B (or gods forbid C through E, since prestige was apparently assigned alphabetically) tried to join in on the picking, everyone would close ranks and attack them. Ostracizing didn't work that way either, since bad/ugly/stinky or not, that person was on our side.