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Supposedly there perhaps are social niceity filters that everyone has, I don't have the original link to this theory, in which most people have them filtering everything they SAY, and geeks (in partial defense against all the bashing they listen to) have it filtering everything they HEAR.
Ponder that for a moment.
Connect it to liberalism, perhaps, or perhaps lj drama.
Where is the line for discussion? Where is the line that separates critique from comment? Or even communication from threat?
Welcome to LJ, where even our fundamental basis for communication is challenged. And not that this isn't a lovely thing, but...sometimes there isn't the energy for it.
Critique, granted, never stops hurting; there should be a good way to present it however.
Communication, granted, is always difficult; different minds, different situations, different backgrounds.
Passive aggressiveness, granted, is somehow necessary. But by it's very application probably more aggravating for the practicer of passive aggression than the one being practiced on.
Is zen for a moment.
Is also rambling.
Has realized that communication issues is very much an Issue, for me. It's that horrible Alone In A Crowd feeling, and you see that connection is *possible*, somehow, but you can never quite touch it. It's there, behind some sort of glass, invisible, and you're scrabbling at it but you can't get a grip and the people on the other side are simply looking at you as if you're somehow dangerous.
Impossibly tounge-tied nerd, am I.
Impossibly lisping dork, am I.
Impossibly obessive geek, am I.
I've discovered, that to increase my opportunities for being happy, that I should express my happiness whenever this occurs.
However, I have a phenomenal fear of expression, of presentation or of self-presentation, a history of hating my voice and being horribly self-conscious, and horribly aware that I'm probably making a fool of myself, and and and really, it all ties up together, eh?
But...whatever fear it is, that connection, that possibility of finding someone to be happy about the same things you are, to meta and to connect in the meta, to squee about fandom and have someone squee back, to be in love (with a person or music or media or an idea) and get: you too?
Is that not worth it? To express yourself and to maybe perhaps connect?
Happiness is, perhaps, essentially tied up in fear. Is it worth it to live constantly afraid?
Perhaps. perhaps.
Talk to me in ten years; as of now, I refuse to live being sad.
Ponder that for a moment.
Connect it to liberalism, perhaps, or perhaps lj drama.
Where is the line for discussion? Where is the line that separates critique from comment? Or even communication from threat?
Welcome to LJ, where even our fundamental basis for communication is challenged. And not that this isn't a lovely thing, but...sometimes there isn't the energy for it.
Critique, granted, never stops hurting; there should be a good way to present it however.
Communication, granted, is always difficult; different minds, different situations, different backgrounds.
Passive aggressiveness, granted, is somehow necessary. But by it's very application probably more aggravating for the practicer of passive aggression than the one being practiced on.
Is zen for a moment.
Is also rambling.
Has realized that communication issues is very much an Issue, for me. It's that horrible Alone In A Crowd feeling, and you see that connection is *possible*, somehow, but you can never quite touch it. It's there, behind some sort of glass, invisible, and you're scrabbling at it but you can't get a grip and the people on the other side are simply looking at you as if you're somehow dangerous.
Impossibly tounge-tied nerd, am I.
Impossibly lisping dork, am I.
Impossibly obessive geek, am I.
I've discovered, that to increase my opportunities for being happy, that I should express my happiness whenever this occurs.
However, I have a phenomenal fear of expression, of presentation or of self-presentation, a history of hating my voice and being horribly self-conscious, and horribly aware that I'm probably making a fool of myself, and and and really, it all ties up together, eh?
But...whatever fear it is, that connection, that possibility of finding someone to be happy about the same things you are, to meta and to connect in the meta, to squee about fandom and have someone squee back, to be in love (with a person or music or media or an idea) and get: you too?
Is that not worth it? To express yourself and to maybe perhaps connect?
Happiness is, perhaps, essentially tied up in fear. Is it worth it to live constantly afraid?
Perhaps. perhaps.
Talk to me in ten years; as of now, I refuse to live being sad.
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