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Random Vin Diesel Fact
- Vin Diesel invented sex, and then, to make it more interesting, invented the orgasm.
- The secret ingrediant in Dr Pepper is not prune juice; rather, it is Vin Diesel's blood, sweat, and tears. In Diet Dr Pepper, Vin's semen is added as well.
- Every time Vin Diesel kills god, a kitten masturbates.
- Whilst on a publicity tour through South America, Vin Diesel came across an old lady with a bag of Brazil nuts and no nutcracker. In order to alleviate her distress, Vin Diesel proceeded to crack the whole bag of nuts using only his steely buttocks. Crisis averted!
- Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Vin Diesel killed JFK. Oswald fired Vin Diesel out of his rifle. Vin penetrated JFK's head then exploded.
- Vin Diesel's uvula is an eleven on The Mohs Scale of hardness for minerals. Frederich Mohs refused to adjust his scale above 10, arguing that technically Vin's uvula wasn't a mineral. For this slight Vin Diesel killed him in 1839.
- Before the Guillatine was invented, Kings would behead their enemies with Vin Diesel's sphincter.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Vin Diesel invented the Accordion, but it was originally meant to be, solely, a murder weapon. It wasnt until 1913 that it began being used as an instrument. Vin has accepted this and has no bitter feelings towards the French.
- If you go into a dark a room and repeat "Vin Diesel" three times, he will appear with several ewoks and proceed to make fun of you until you die, proving once and for all that words alone, not just sticks and stones, can kill you.
- Vin Diesel was circumsized for the sole reason of using his detached foreskin as tarp for rain delays at Ebbett's Field.
- Vin Diesel is said to exhale the strings that the string theory is based upon. This means that he infact created dimensions, and he is the key to entering other dimensions and alternate realities, but to do so would create a pandora's box which would consume all seamen in the world, this is called the 'Paris' effect.
- Vin Diesel's head sat on a wall. Vin Diesel's head had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the kings men got owned when Vin Diesel's head said, "What the fuck are you looking at?"
- His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there.
- It has been said that Vin Diesel will the last being alive when the universe comes to an end. It is for this reason he invented pornography.
- Vin Diesel stays crunchy in milk for up to 72 hours. Then he explodes.
- Vin Diesel once killed a man by flexing his biceps in his general direction.
- The angels still say that when Vin Diesel invented time, God was so touched that he wrote the Bible as a love letter.
- Vin Diesel once slapped Kareem Abdul Jabar in the face. They both cried afterwards.
- Vin Diesel can eat a piece of coal and shit out a diamond.
- Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.
- After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.
::refreshes in high amusement, and much laughter::
- Vin Diesel invented sex, and then, to make it more interesting, invented the orgasm.
- The secret ingrediant in Dr Pepper is not prune juice; rather, it is Vin Diesel's blood, sweat, and tears. In Diet Dr Pepper, Vin's semen is added as well.
- Every time Vin Diesel kills god, a kitten masturbates.
- Whilst on a publicity tour through South America, Vin Diesel came across an old lady with a bag of Brazil nuts and no nutcracker. In order to alleviate her distress, Vin Diesel proceeded to crack the whole bag of nuts using only his steely buttocks. Crisis averted!
- Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Vin Diesel killed JFK. Oswald fired Vin Diesel out of his rifle. Vin penetrated JFK's head then exploded.
- Vin Diesel's uvula is an eleven on The Mohs Scale of hardness for minerals. Frederich Mohs refused to adjust his scale above 10, arguing that technically Vin's uvula wasn't a mineral. For this slight Vin Diesel killed him in 1839.
- Before the Guillatine was invented, Kings would behead their enemies with Vin Diesel's sphincter.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Vin Diesel invented the Accordion, but it was originally meant to be, solely, a murder weapon. It wasnt until 1913 that it began being used as an instrument. Vin has accepted this and has no bitter feelings towards the French.
- If you go into a dark a room and repeat "Vin Diesel" three times, he will appear with several ewoks and proceed to make fun of you until you die, proving once and for all that words alone, not just sticks and stones, can kill you.
- Vin Diesel was circumsized for the sole reason of using his detached foreskin as tarp for rain delays at Ebbett's Field.
- Vin Diesel is said to exhale the strings that the string theory is based upon. This means that he infact created dimensions, and he is the key to entering other dimensions and alternate realities, but to do so would create a pandora's box which would consume all seamen in the world, this is called the 'Paris' effect.
- Vin Diesel's head sat on a wall. Vin Diesel's head had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the kings men got owned when Vin Diesel's head said, "What the fuck are you looking at?"
- His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there.
- It has been said that Vin Diesel will the last being alive when the universe comes to an end. It is for this reason he invented pornography.
- Vin Diesel stays crunchy in milk for up to 72 hours. Then he explodes.
- Vin Diesel once killed a man by flexing his biceps in his general direction.
- The angels still say that when Vin Diesel invented time, God was so touched that he wrote the Bible as a love letter.
- Vin Diesel once slapped Kareem Abdul Jabar in the face. They both cried afterwards.
- Vin Diesel can eat a piece of coal and shit out a diamond.
- Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.
- After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.
::refreshes in high amusement, and much laughter::
no subject
HA!