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Random Vin Diesel Fact
- Vin Diesel invented sex, and then, to make it more interesting, invented the orgasm.
- The secret ingrediant in Dr Pepper is not prune juice; rather, it is Vin Diesel's blood, sweat, and tears. In Diet Dr Pepper, Vin's semen is added as well.
- Every time Vin Diesel kills god, a kitten masturbates.
- Whilst on a publicity tour through South America, Vin Diesel came across an old lady with a bag of Brazil nuts and no nutcracker. In order to alleviate her distress, Vin Diesel proceeded to crack the whole bag of nuts using only his steely buttocks. Crisis averted!
- Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Vin Diesel killed JFK. Oswald fired Vin Diesel out of his rifle. Vin penetrated JFK's head then exploded.
- Vin Diesel's uvula is an eleven on The Mohs Scale of hardness for minerals. Frederich Mohs refused to adjust his scale above 10, arguing that technically Vin's uvula wasn't a mineral. For this slight Vin Diesel killed him in 1839.
- Before the Guillatine was invented, Kings would behead their enemies with Vin Diesel's sphincter.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Vin Diesel invented the Accordion, but it was originally meant to be, solely, a murder weapon. It wasnt until 1913 that it began being used as an instrument. Vin has accepted this and has no bitter feelings towards the French.
- If you go into a dark a room and repeat "Vin Diesel" three times, he will appear with several ewoks and proceed to make fun of you until you die, proving once and for all that words alone, not just sticks and stones, can kill you.
- Vin Diesel was circumsized for the sole reason of using his detached foreskin as tarp for rain delays at Ebbett's Field.
- Vin Diesel is said to exhale the strings that the string theory is based upon. This means that he infact created dimensions, and he is the key to entering other dimensions and alternate realities, but to do so would create a pandora's box which would consume all seamen in the world, this is called the 'Paris' effect.
- Vin Diesel's head sat on a wall. Vin Diesel's head had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the kings men got owned when Vin Diesel's head said, "What the fuck are you looking at?"
- His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there.
- It has been said that Vin Diesel will the last being alive when the universe comes to an end. It is for this reason he invented pornography.
- Vin Diesel stays crunchy in milk for up to 72 hours. Then he explodes.
- Vin Diesel once killed a man by flexing his biceps in his general direction.
- The angels still say that when Vin Diesel invented time, God was so touched that he wrote the Bible as a love letter.
- Vin Diesel once slapped Kareem Abdul Jabar in the face. They both cried afterwards.
- Vin Diesel can eat a piece of coal and shit out a diamond.
- Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.
- After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.
::refreshes in high amusement, and much laughter::
- Vin Diesel invented sex, and then, to make it more interesting, invented the orgasm.
- The secret ingrediant in Dr Pepper is not prune juice; rather, it is Vin Diesel's blood, sweat, and tears. In Diet Dr Pepper, Vin's semen is added as well.
- Every time Vin Diesel kills god, a kitten masturbates.
- Whilst on a publicity tour through South America, Vin Diesel came across an old lady with a bag of Brazil nuts and no nutcracker. In order to alleviate her distress, Vin Diesel proceeded to crack the whole bag of nuts using only his steely buttocks. Crisis averted!
- Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Vin Diesel killed JFK. Oswald fired Vin Diesel out of his rifle. Vin penetrated JFK's head then exploded.
- Vin Diesel's uvula is an eleven on The Mohs Scale of hardness for minerals. Frederich Mohs refused to adjust his scale above 10, arguing that technically Vin's uvula wasn't a mineral. For this slight Vin Diesel killed him in 1839.
- Before the Guillatine was invented, Kings would behead their enemies with Vin Diesel's sphincter.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Vin Diesel invented the Accordion, but it was originally meant to be, solely, a murder weapon. It wasnt until 1913 that it began being used as an instrument. Vin has accepted this and has no bitter feelings towards the French.
- If you go into a dark a room and repeat "Vin Diesel" three times, he will appear with several ewoks and proceed to make fun of you until you die, proving once and for all that words alone, not just sticks and stones, can kill you.
- Vin Diesel was circumsized for the sole reason of using his detached foreskin as tarp for rain delays at Ebbett's Field.
- Vin Diesel is said to exhale the strings that the string theory is based upon. This means that he infact created dimensions, and he is the key to entering other dimensions and alternate realities, but to do so would create a pandora's box which would consume all seamen in the world, this is called the 'Paris' effect.
- Vin Diesel's head sat on a wall. Vin Diesel's head had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the kings men got owned when Vin Diesel's head said, "What the fuck are you looking at?"
- His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there.
- It has been said that Vin Diesel will the last being alive when the universe comes to an end. It is for this reason he invented pornography.
- Vin Diesel stays crunchy in milk for up to 72 hours. Then he explodes.
- Vin Diesel once killed a man by flexing his biceps in his general direction.
- The angels still say that when Vin Diesel invented time, God was so touched that he wrote the Bible as a love letter.
- Vin Diesel once slapped Kareem Abdul Jabar in the face. They both cried afterwards.
- Vin Diesel can eat a piece of coal and shit out a diamond.
- Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.
- After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.
::refreshes in high amusement, and much laughter::
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*SPEWS BEVERAGE*
dude. Guess what I was just drinking?
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Here are a few that I received:
"In space, Vin Diesel can hear you scream."
"9/11 wouldn't have happened if Vin Diesel was instead in another dimension fighting a horde of red dragons."
"He was the first man to ever successfully bowl a perfect game using only his MIND POWERS."
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*is, in fact, eating a Malteser at this very moment*
*chokes to death*
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HA!
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Some of mine:
You don't control Vin Diesel. You only aim him.
Vin Diesel is Rick James, bitch
Vin Diesel's semen is so corrosive that if he were ever to ejaculate it would tear apart the very fabric of the universe. (AHH!!)
Before Vin Diesel, people came from eggs.
Wrestles himself when no one is looking. (that actually sounds kinda hot, and I don't even find Vin Diesel sexy *g*)
Guns don't kill people, Vin Diesel kills people. Sometimes with guns.
Best. Thing. EVAH.
Linzee
Good things to know.
Contrary to what historians want you to believe the atomic bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not actually bombs at all, they were actually Vin Diesel's orgasms. Vin has not had sex since, and may god help us all if he ever does.
It's a well-known fact that Vin Diesel plays Dungeons & Dragons, but a lesser-known fact is that he plays D&D with Owen Wilson, Kevin Spacey, and Carrie-Anne Moss. Jeff Goldblum is the Dungeon Master.
erie fannish intersects
"Vin Diesel" is an anagram of "Devil Sin". This is not a coincidence - Vin Diesel is in fact the fallen angel Lucifer.
Vin Diesel invented the wheel. Twice.
*sporfle*
And then I had to stop. There is alcohol here and I might break something expensive.
The best part? I downloaded the Chronicles of Riddick DVD yesterday. And
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His ears are artificially synthesized out of bread crumbs, which is why ducks find them so delicious.
Vin Diesel challenged Jesus to a race across the Atlantic and would have won had he not been eaten by a giant whale. After he murdered it to death from the inside, he emerged in the South Pacific and found the island from Lost, and rescued everybody.
His saliva tastes like Sierra Mist.
Vin Diesel has had sex with every Nobel prize winner in physics - all except for Douglas Osheroff (The 1996 Winner). Watch out Dr. Osheroff!
*dead*
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(b) ASJKAKLDSJKDAS, MASTURBATING KITTENS OMG.
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*DED*
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....right.
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lol
Vin Diesel's tears function as autonomous beings, which can also shed tears.
President Bush loves Vin Diesel because he saved him from that whole Iraq war/fixed election whooten-nanny.
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"Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel's balls cannot be used as a life raft. They can however be used as a sea anchor for large cruise ships."
" Vin Diesel's kidney stones made up the members of "Wham!""
" When Vin Diesel is sad, magical puppies appear to cheer him up."
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ICON LOVE!!!!!!!!!!
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credit to me (or
cheers.
--Lex
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"Vin Diesel is the ultimate paradox, in that he does not think, yet he very much is."
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Vin Diesel is cleaner burning and ten times more efficient than regular diesel.
Vin Diesel can walk on water, not because he is Jesus, but because the normal force as described by Newton in his modern laws of physics does not apply to him.
Vin Diesel got so drunk once that he ate the keg after drinking all of it, and it was filled with Everclear. Two weeks later he shat out a Ford Mustang, however, it was not a GT model, but did have leather seats.
This is addictive. OMG.
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*just dies from the omg too funny!!* ^_____^
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"Vin Diesel once faked his own death after a sheperd boy hit him in the head with a rock from a sling."
"Green kryptonite makes Vin Diesel sick, red kryptonite makes him turn evil, and blue kryptonite makes him insatiably hungry for PEZ."
"There are sockets in Vin Diesel's arms and feet for the heads of four smaller Vin Diesels to connect into. Together they merge and become Vin-Diesel-Cator. To date, this has only happened once."
"Vin Diesel once attempted to shave Michael Moore's neckbeard, but failed upon realizing that the hairs were actually tiny Malaysian children."
Man, I need to stop. I have things to do today! XD
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God, I can't stop laughing. *HUGGLE*
cheers.
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"Vin Diesel will lactate two by fours on request, and can pump a small cottage out of his chest if you offer him a silver dollar."
"Legend has it that he once hung by one leg from a tree for nine days and nine nights in exchange for SACRED WISDOM."
"Most men's nipples have no real function, but Vin Diesel's are hard enough to cut through virtually all substances, he uses them to shape diamonds, but only those over 3 carats."
"If Vin Diesel were to stare directly at the sun, the sun would get scared and go to a different part of the galaxy."
and my fav: "Vin Diesel created time, then subsequently traveled back in time using a modified Delorian with a flux capacitor. Vin Diesel then punched Michael J Fox so hard that he ceased to exist."
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Vin Diesel was the cab driver who had dice in the mirror in the opening credits of "Fresh Prince Of Belle-Air".
Vin Diesel was the inspiration for the character of the Sonic the Hedgehog villain, Dr. Robotnik.
Most men's nipples have no real function, but Vin Diesel's are hard enough to cut through virtually all substances, he uses them to shape diamonds, but only those over 3 carats
The popular marshmallow candy "Peeps" is actually made from Vin Diesel's congealed digestive fluids.
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Eeee I can't stop refreshing the page!
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"It has been scientifically proven that, while living as a Druid, Vin Diesel fashioned both Stone Henge and the statues of Easter Island with nothing more than his bare hands and some gumption."
"For a low monthly installment of $19.95 YOU CAN BE VIN DIESEL TOO!"
"He has an ant farm that is ruled by an oppressive theocratic dictatorship made up of beetles."
"There is an underused feature on the batman utility belt. A button that calls Vin Diesel."
[refresh][refresh][refresh]
My God, how many of them *are* there?
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Vin Diesel is responsible for the maiming deaths of at least three Muppets on Sesame Street, after being asked what he'd do for a Klondike bar.
Vin Diesel has licensed his own endorphins to Coca Cola to form the basis of a new soft drink to be launched in the new year. It will be called SpUud.
By law is not allowed to use the letter "Q".
Vin Diesel once got in a fistfight with his butcher over whether or not he could borrow the deli-slicer for recreational purposes.
They never end!