...making the list and checking it twice...

Piece #10 for circe_tigana's 882 Ways to Appease the Heathen Gods challenge

[]

Everyone knows that bad little boys and girls get coal.

Santa, however, is reserving something special this year for the *evil* ones.

"Smithers, go empty out the coal again." Mr. Burns waves spindly fingers towards the fireplace.

"Yes sir."

*clink*

"Mr. Burns? There appears to be a...coin."

"A coin Smithers?"

"A gold one I believe."

"Let me see it." Mr. Burns grunted with the weight of the piece and lifted it up towards the light. "Exotic. But rather depressing."

He thought for a moment.

"Give it to the orphans."

"Sir?!"

"It'll be my good deed for the year."

"Yes sir."

...y' just can't win...

Piece #11 for circe_tigana's 882 Ways to Appease the Heathen Gods challenge

[]

"Now missy, you'd be handing that coin over, y'hear?" Twigg shook his cutlass threateningly.

"Why?" Big doe eyes looked up at him, and Twigg doesn't understand why he's suddenly frightened.

"Because I'll kill you."

"Why?"

"Because I need it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm cursed!"

"Why?"

"ARRRRG--NEVER YOU MIND WHY JUS' HAND IT OVER!" The little girl blinked and waved a small hand in front of her face.

"Smelly!"

"I'm a pirate!" But the child wasn't paying attention to him any more.

She dropped something in the toilet and reached over on tiptoes to pull the lever.

"Shiny go down the hooooooole."

Twiggs scream echoed against the ceramic.

"Pirate go down the hoooooooole! Bye Pirate!"

...all I want for Christmas...

Piece #12 for circe_tigana's 882 Ways to Appease the Heathen Gods challenge

[]

::whirling rip in the space-time continuum::

::permetaform peeks in, shifty-eyed::

::jumps out, snatches a coin out of a pirates' hands::

"You want it?" ::waves gold in front of their eyes::

"Follow me." ::ducks under swords and leaps back into the rip::

::sprints across the Lawn as scribbling out something on an envelope and tucking the coin in::

"Huff puff wheeeeeze."

::pounds on the front door and hands it to the nearest guy in suit and sunglasses::

"Rush delivery, ASAP!"

The Secret Service peers at the address label.

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

::uses Jedi Mind Trick (tm)::

"Yes ma'am, right away ma'am."

::grins as they race to put the coin into the Shrub's hands::

::holds open the door for the pirates::

NEW JOHNNY DEPP PICTURES! SQUEEEEEE!!

I *love* his smile.



I really. really. do.



::molests computer::

It's from the E!Entertainer of the Year Award thing, the entire transcript and a HUGE ass amount of screencaps are found here.

Pardon me as I go drool more...

Dear Johnny: I love you I love you I really really do...

Inside the Actor's Studio...

Student: I wonder if you would ever play a female character?

( Read more... )