mergle

[permetaform]

FYI: I ****LOATHE**** the telephone. So I procrastinate heavily on any and all calls I have to make. ::hugs fandom people:: sorry about that.

Part of it is that I think I have horrible phone voice, another is that I think I have a horrible voice, in general, and the sheer physical fact of a phone makes me all the more aware that I am *speaking*. Part of how I got over my fear of communicating badly is to be totally oblivious to the fact that I am possibly making a fool of myself; and thus part of what I'm making myself oblivious to is the fact that my voice is making sounds.

Dunno if I'm the only one like this.

Thoughts?

Comments

[linzeestyle.livejournal.com]

Hmm - you know, I've never really thought too much about why it is I hate the phone (though man, do I ever), but that sort of reminds me. When I was little I used to lip-synch the pledge of allegiance rather than actually say it, because I could *hear* myself speaking in my head, and had not yet realized that I was not as loud to other people as I was to myself.

Linzee

[permetaform]

huh. that's way interesting on a psychological level, actually we were discussing identification methods of children for themselves today in class. (sidenote: I LOVE my classes, SO MANY TANGENTS! XD)

[linzeestyle.livejournal.com]

Heh. I don't think it was so much that I had trouble identifying my own voice in relation to others, as I was just extremely self-conscious - I'd been told in kidnergarten my voice "sounded like a boy" and that was sort of that, for a few years I wouldn't talk unless I had to. That was also my phase where I wouldn't wear bright colors at all, lest I draw attention to myself. I was...an odd child. Just a bit. *G*

Linzee

[permetaform]

ah, that makes sense now =D

also??

::hugs you hard::

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

I used to hate talking on the phone because I never knew how to fill awkward silences. There's no escape and you can't key off of body language or anything. And then my job forced (and still forces) me to use the phone as my primary means of contact with people. So what I did, at least for work and a bit for friends and family, is plan out how I would start the conversation and have a very definite purpose in mind.

My only problem is that I still don't like just chatting on the phone, unless I actually have something to say. Heh.

[permetaform]

So what I did, at least for work and a bit for friends and family, is plan out how I would start the conversation and have a very definite purpose in mind.

YES! exactly! I have to do that too! With a list by me and everything (thing is, sometimes in lectures and stuff I have to do this anyway too before I speak up so I don't tangent horribly...)

[bandgeek.livejournal.com]

I think everyone hates their voice. I dislike mine moderately, but I just try to ignore it. Part of this, I think, is that we always sound different on a recording than what we hear in our heads, and when we hear ourselves in that context, it can be a bit surprising and unsettling. For instance, I never realized how high-pitched and squealy I can be over the phone until I heard myself on an answering machine.

[permetaform]

heh, yeah good point...though part of it's possibly also because I got transferred into a speech therapy class for disabled students because the teacher couldn't understand me in class.

[bandgeek.livejournal.com]

Wow, seriously? Did you have a lisp or something? I can definitely see how that would give you a complex ...

[permetaform]

yeah, my tongue was abnormally connected to the bottom of my mouth. even now, I can't stick my tongue out super far.

[andtheafterglow.livejournal.com]

i'm terrible about phone calls. it's more of an anxiety issue for me (general anxiety disorder and/or social anxiety disorder, take your pick) than an issue of being concerned about how my voice sounds. i just get terrified about the whole thing and never end up doing what i'm supposed to (like call friends to make plans).

[permetaform]

::nods:: was so relieved when I found interenet and more specifically LJ. email rocks.

[auguris]

I used to despise using the phone. I'm still not fond of it, but I'm okay with it, because I have to answer the phone at work. Being forced to be polite on the phone helped me learn how to do it when I'm not at work. *shrug*

[permetaform]

hee!

but then, is there a specific reason for your despising the phone (ie. have you ever pinned it down)? or just a general disgruntlement??

[auguris]

Mostly because I dislike talking, I think. I see it as superfluous. Why can't friends just sit in silence? They can, but not on the phone. You have to make noise. Stupid phone.

[permetaform]

ahh!! yes!! ::nods:: and the inherent purpose of the phone as being non-conductive to the way I express myself 'cause I use alot of body language! ::lightbulbs::

[cicer.livejournal.com]

I hate the phone. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I hardly ever use it. It's part social anxiety, part hating my phone-voice (I sound like I'm 7), and part the fact that I find it awkward to speak to someone who I can't see. I know that sounds weird, but I can't talk out loud to some who isn't right it front of me. It's just too odd. Anyway, you're not alone.

[permetaform]

::hugs you::

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Just about everyone I know online hates the phone. Me, I can deal with making spontanious personal phone calls, but I canNOT handle having to talk to a receptionist about the nature of my call. I have people-judging-me issues.

[permetaform]

heh, because of dealing with paperwork and other administrative stuff, I've learned to talk to receptionists. You will too, methinks, out of self defense. ;D And dude, at least you *can* make those spontaneous personal phone calls, it's those I have the most issues with and I sorta feel like I can't maintain any sort of lasting longterm contact with rl people 'cause I can't, telephonically, make that contact.

[linaelyn.livejournal.com]

I hate the phone. Hate it, and avoid it whenever possible. I personally think I have a lovely voice, and It's not from feeling in any way inadequate on the speaking end of things.

I have great difficulty retaining information I have received in a purely auditory setting. I have to take notes on the phone to remember what someone has said to me. I feel like an idiot when I can't remember things people who have spoken to me on the phone have said.

It could be that your learning style does not easily handle auditory input? Just a thought.

[permetaform]

OH! you're right! I hadn't considered that angle too! I have to take notes and/or think about what's going on in lectures 'cause I can't remember information that way (voices sound like music to me, so I get their emotional impressions and not the information; and usually the teachers before I changed majors were bored as fuck).

And, well, also I think it's also cause I was shunted into the learning disability class for speech training 'cause my teacher in elementary school couldn't understand me. I still have a lisp though I'm much more understandable.

Also, my accent irritates me. ::wry grin::

[scarletseraph.livejournal.com]

I despise phones. I have social anxiety and can't communicate as well verbally as I can in writing, so it's not my favourite way to get in touch with someone. Part of the reason I leave the 'net permanently connected (aside from my addiction) is so people can't get through on the landline. I pretty much go fetal when I hear a phone or doorbell/knock.

[permetaform]

can't communicate as well verbally as I can in writing, so it's not my favourite way to get in touch with someone.

::nods:: can totally sympathize with this. ::hugs you hard::

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

I don't mind my voice when I'm just talking. I don't like hearing recordings of my voice. It's kinda like watching your vid at a con. It never looks/sounds like you thought it did.

[permetaform]

heh =D, dude man, I know. recordings always sound wierd 'cause they don't catch your own resonance. it's the ribcage or something, and the smaller you are, the more you hear your own resonance I think...

[kittytan.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's mostly the holes in your head. ...er. The sinus cavities, the mouth and the throat, that is. Your voice resonates in these hollows and reach you through the bones of your head vibrating as well as through the air. And since bone has higher density than air, the sound waves become distorted, and that leads to your voice sounding different to you than it does to everyone else.

As for the phone phobia, I have it too, and I like my voice. I mean, I'm a vocalist. It's the invisible time limit that gets me. You have to get what you want said said and as quickly as possible, and that just... flusters me, because I need to think things through before I say them, and that doesn't work on the phone. I find that writing everything I need to say down and thinking about what the person on the other end might be likely to say and how to respond to that helps, but if they deviate from my written little script, I'm still likely to panic. >.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

The phone is one of the most evil inventions ever thought up by any sadist. I hate it. I hate having to speak with someone I cannot see. I hate having to rely entirely on verbal communication. I hate the social aspect of it. I hate this hard plastic thing pressed to my ear because it hurts.

::takes deep breath::

My brain also has serious problems with "translating" sounds that are at similar volumes. So if someone is on the phone with me, and they've got noise in the background, or I've got noise in the background, and that noise is around the same level as the person's voice, I simply cannot comprehend what the person is saying. Plus, I'm very sensitive to sounds in certain registers, and phone static? Hits a lot of those registers. I have yet to find a phone entirely free of static to my ear, and so there's actual physical pain from that, plus the pain from the plastic itself.

Yeah, there are days when I wish I could live in some kind of anti-grav environment where nothing, and I mean nothing, ever touched me. But phones are a special kind of hell, aggravating me on more levels than I can really articulate.

[permetaform]

My brain also has serious problems with "translating" sounds that are at similar volumes.

::nods:: I finally realized with lin's comment above that partly 'cause I hear voices as instruments it's really hard for me to separate out the words from the 'music', and I TOTALLY get what you're saying about background noise...though I don't have personal experience of the physical pain. ::hugs you::

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

There's a technical term for the brain's inability to separate out and translate sounds of the same volume/range/tone, but I can't remember what it is. I think it's often related to TMJ, though I don't have that.

::hugs you back::

[luminosity]

The thing about the phone? It's there for ME to call OUT. I like to chat and visit on my own time, but I hate being disturbed--even by my mother! OTOH, if I expect a call, I'm cool. Most of the time. Or else I don't answer. ME. Call OUT. I think this is because I used to be a collection/customer service agent for a long time.

[permetaform]

heee! yes! like a walkie-talkie! =D

also...SO MUCH ICON LOVE.

[angstymcgoth.livejournal.com]

Oh no, you're not alone. The only people I talk on the phone to are my family, but that's not exactly hard. I hate answering it, hate making calls (I sympathize with putting off calls for-forever because I do the exact same thing. And then I'll finally break down and do it and then go, see, wasn't that easy? No, no it fucking wasn't.)

I really don't know what the deal is, probably part shyness and probably part that I stutter.

[andmydog.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's so not just you. :)

I will. not. use the phone unless I have to. It's for making plans that can't be made in person or online for whatever reason. I hte not being able to read the other person's body language, especially considering how much a part of our language the physical has become - it's really easy to misinterpret someone's words, but much harder when you can see their eyes.
Also, I have that whole social anxiety thing, and interacting with people I can't see and often don't know is very uncomfortable.
AND, I used to lisp, and so I'm extremely conscious of my voice on the phone (I am, however, the best person to get if you have to collect information, because I enunciate every. bloody. syllable.)

Hate the phone. Hate cell phones even more. The intarweb, however... she is my friend.

[azziria.livejournal.com]

I hate using the phone, despite being a good communicator face-to-face. I particularly hate phoning people I don't know well (such as clients, unfortunately!). The advent of e-mail has been a godsend for me!

I think it comes down to not being able to see body language while I'm talking to someone. I can't tell how they're feeling, if they're annoyed to be disturbed, or just being polite, or whatever. Probably stems from my inner paranoia/lack of self esteem.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

Telephones are of the devil.

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

*cough* social anxiety and avoidant tendencies + not a great auditory info processor = HATE THE PHONE.

I'm with you.

[maymorning.livejournal.com]

*hand in the air* I hate the phone too. I'm not as bad as I used to be, but the people who call me are mostly just my mother, sister, Sprog or Ihlanya the Squizzer. Oh, or Himself of course! So when I pick up the phone I expect it's one of them. If it isn't, I go all tongue-tied and shy. Silly, eh!

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

I think part of it is that the phone messes with your ability to "read the room". You have to judge the reactions of the other just by sound of their voice (distorted) and lengths of the pauses (also often distorted long-distance). So hard! When it's a business call, I aim for "politely firm" and feel like I land anywhere between "bitch" and "pushover" for my audience. When it's someone you've met face-to-face, they often sound so weirdly different, kinda tense and affected (probably same telephone issues... But the thing is, when we have issues, we don't really stop to think that others might, too).
Hey! Lisp is sexy! Makes people think about your tongue! Maybe it's just me being extrememly weird though >____< My phone voice sounds like a chibi boy from shounen action anime pretending to be an adult, sultry woman. With an accent. Terribly embarrassing, but I think people actually like it. Feh. Got it - flaunt it. Not like there's a choice.

[kokkoryuha.livejournal.com]

The reason (to add to all the other zillion comments you have)
that I don't particularly prefer the phone (...) is that I can't
see them. So I'm stuck talking to no one in particular, holding
this device in my hand, and I feel like I'm talking to myself...
With some other person on the other end, being who knows where,
doing who knows what, while I "chat" with them. It makes me
feel uneasy.

My voice drops two octaves on the phone apparently
too. Everyone says I sound like a guy 0.o But most of the time,
I'm trying to freak them out, so it doesn't bother me.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Hate. The. Phone.

Hate.

Not just you.

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

I don't mind answering the phone, but I hate making phone calls. I think it's because when people call me, I am in control, because I have all the info they want. When I call others I am supplicating, hoping they know what I'm talking about, hoping they'll help me and not humiliate me or snap at me for wasting their time. Unhealthy, perhaps, but there it is. Also, when I was a kid there was a prank played on me involving making phone calls, and I think I was mentally scarred. (I want to be your friend! Call me, here's my number! The wrong number. I called over and over because I didn't understand.)

...though oddly, my voice is just about the only thing about me that I like. Not always, but sometimes.

Just remember that the people on the other end love you and want to hear from you. The voice isn't as important as what's being said.

[lurkerlynne.livejournal.com]

I sound like a little kid on teh phone. And yes, I have used this to my advantage. ::replays memory of convincing telemarketer I was a small child home alone:: Hee!

An interesting note; my mom, sister and I sound very much alike on the phone and most can only learn to tell Mom from us with practice. That includes Dad. It makes for some interesting phone calls. o_O

[permetaform]

o.o dude, I'll bet.

Share story?

[lurkerlynne.livejournal.com]

Which story? The telemarketer or the ones where my SO wound up talking to my sister and he thought it was me?

[permetaform]

::gigglefit::