So, see, I point out my previous post to
spaggel, and made sure she read the glory that is this fic where AlienGrass/John'sHair by
zortified (including all of the comment ficlets)...
[02:52]
spaggel: like, he lets the hair and grass get into fights
[02:52]
spaggel: and helps them make up
[02:52]
spaggel: and DOES IT AGAIN
[02:52]
spaggel: drama is the key thing here
[02:53]
permetaform: o.o how does he help them make up?
[02:53]
permetaform: like, a whole new reason to fingercomb his hair?
[02:53]
permetaform: XD
[02:54]
spaggel: the grass gets JEALOUS
[02:54]
spaggel: because john starts sleeping with a night cap on
[02:54]
permetaform: ...
[02:54]
permetaform: omg yes
[02:54]
spaggel: and the grass is all, "but baby, BABY, i love you, dont you know that?"
[02:54]
permetaform: yes
[02:54]
permetaform: XD
[02:55]
spaggel: and like, waves in his direction
[02:55]
permetaform: and his hair is strangely flattened, mournful, in the morning
[02:55]
spaggel: and john wakes up with his hair out of a cap and like, the grass is RIGHT NEXT TO HIS HEAD
[02:55]
permetaform: XD
[02:55]
permetaform: John is MASSIVELY STARTLED
[02:55]
spaggel: because they got all hot thinking abotu sneaking around on john
[02:55]
spaggel: akldhajkshdkj
[02:56]
permetaform: wait
[02:56]
permetaform: oh dear
[02:56]
permetaform: does that
[02:56]
permetaform: ...does that mean that the grass and hair gets it on at night?
[02:57]
permetaform: while john's asleep?
[02:57]
spaggel: i think so
[02:57]
permetaform: isn't that a bit
[02:57]
permetaform: I dunno
[02:57]
permetaform: non-con?
[02:57]
permetaform: o.0
[02:57]
spaggel: a little
[02:57]
spaggel: and john wakes up to SEEDS in his hair
[02:57]
permetaform: XD
[02:57]
permetaform: OMG
[02:57]
spaggel: they knock johns head up
[02:57]
permetaform: XD
[02:57]
permetaform: OMG
[02:57]
permetaform: MPREG
[02:57]
spaggel: or the grass starts to grow little brownish gress grassses
[02:57]
spaggel: I THINK ITS WONDEROUS
[02:57]
permetaform: DOES HE TRY TO RINSE THE SEEDS OUT?
[02:58]
permetaform: BUT IT'S LIKE, MORALLY BANKRUPT
[02:58]
permetaform: OR SOMETHING
[02:58]
permetaform: XD
[02:58]
spaggel: maybe he starts and the grass SCREAMS
[02:58]
spaggel: so he spends all day picking them out
[02:58]
spaggel: and replanting them
[02:58]
spaggel: right next to the grass
[02:58]
permetaform: XD
[02:58]
spaggel: which would keep eyeing him
[02:58]
spaggel: if it had eyes
[02:59]
permetaform: and asking for child support?
[02:59]
spaggel: and like, waves in a disapproving manner when like, john leaves but doesnt leave the grass in light
[02:59]
spaggel: ajsdhkjsd more like, "they are YOUR KIDS TOO, take responsibility. i dont want my kids to go with a daddy"
[02:59]
permetaform: kasjdhfskdjf
[02:59]
permetaform: it starts, y'know, SINE WAVES
[03:00]
spaggel: YES
[03:00]
permetaform: and attempting to draw vectors
[03:00]
spaggel: I CAN SEE IT
[03:00]
spaggel: MAKING OUT THE WORDS
[03:00]
permetaform: I CAN SEE IT TOO
[03:00]
spaggel: "your never home anymore"
[03:00]
spaggel: "your seeing those physics roots, arn't you?
[03:00]
permetaform: XD
[03:01]
spaggel: "i thought so, they kids ask about you"
[03:01]
permetaform: they do!
[03:01]
spaggel: "they dont get NEARLY enough water anymore"
[03:01]
permetaform: ::tsks::
[03:01]
permetaform: they want to see where he works
[03:01]
permetaform: and field trips
[03:01]
permetaform: and the like
[03:01]
spaggel: "they just shed their first shells and you werent here for it"
[03:01]
spaggel: asjkdh YES
[03:01]
spaggel: "put away you gun before the kids get to it"
[03:02]
permetaform: XD
[03:02]
spaggel: AND JOHN IS LIKE," THEY CANT PICK IT UP"
[03:02]
spaggel: and realizes he is married to grass all of a sudden
[03:02]
permetaform: (this icon of mine is all the more ironic now)
[03:02]
permetaform: (the keywords for is it "crop circles")
[03:02]
spaggel: ahahah YES
[03:02]
permetaform: OH GOD, RODNEY WOULD BE SO JEALOUS
[03:02]
spaggel: THE GRASS AND RODNEY HAS A BITCH FIGHT
[03:02]
spaggel: asdkjhasdkj
[03:03]
permetaform: XD
[03:03]
permetaform: but like, the kids start doing math
[03:03]
permetaform: or rather
[03:03]
permetaform: string theory
[03:03]
permetaform: they...wave
[03:03]
permetaform: in string theory
[03:03]
permetaform: and rodney melts
[03:03]
permetaform: just a little
[03:03]
permetaform: inside
[03:04]
spaggel: and like, rodney is john's mistress in the grasses eyes
[03:04]
permetaform: oh god yes
[03:04]
spaggel: like, "you can play, but you better come home"
[03:04]
permetaform: XD
[03:04]
spaggel: and the grass understands, because the grass has the hair
[03:04]
permetaform: yes
[03:04]
permetaform: oh yes
[03:04]
spaggel: as it's cabana boy
[03:04]
spaggel: askjdghksjd
[03:04]
permetaform: XD
[03:04]
spaggel: john's hair does some dirty dancing and the grass starts to turn
[03:05]
spaggel: john is all freaked out that it's DIEING and it's just turned on
[03:05]
spaggel: and then john feels dirty
[03:05]
permetaform: OMG
[03:05]
permetaform: HEEEE
[03:05]
permetaform: HE DIDN'T FEEL DIRTY WHEN THE GRASS WAS TALKING TO RODNEY'S PUBIC HAIR???
[03:05]
permetaform: XD
[03:06]
spaggel: OH MY GOD
[03:06]
spaggel: LIKE
[03:06]
permetaform: (the one on rodney's head isn't, y'know, long enough)
[03:06]
permetaform: (second class citizens)
[03:06]
spaggel: THE GRASS CALLS RODNEYS PBBY HAIR A WHORE aljkshdlaswd
[03:06]
permetaform: XD
[03:06]
permetaform: IT DOES
[03:06]
spaggel: OH MY GOD
[03:07]
permetaform: ::NODNODNOD::
[03:07]
permetaform: MY SIDES HURT
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Tags:
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PAINGLEE!!!! OMFG HAIR MPREG IS THE NEW BLACK!*waves a, uh, cosine wave to The Grass*
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*settles on headdesk*
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what the HELL is this? And, now that I'm in the fandom....how did I ever, EVER, think I was gonna resist it, way long ago?
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*SO HAPPY*
*SO DED*
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There is perfection up there. Utter perfection.
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what the HELL is this? And, now that I'm in the fandom....how did I ever, EVER, think I was gonna resist it, way long ago?
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That cracked my ass up.
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