love and joy and hijinks

bascon had a short-fic/drabble writting panel; I came in late, but I managed to get this out:

( spoilers for Season 2 Ford )

Title: That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles
Rating: ADULT
Pairing: John/Rodney (SGA)
Spoilers: general for season 2

Summary: It wasn't the eggnog. (food challenge, amnesty)


( Read more... )

::face smack:: um. So yeah, RL is/was/will be busy, and I'm hacking away slowly at my to-do list. Still trying to figure out the quickest way to format Dai-Guard for YouTube, almost done with Equilibrium vid, almost caught up with class reading/done laundry/did bills/figured out moving thing/etc.

Also, I'm randomly re-sucked into Escaflowne 'cause while looking for good trance-techno for me to do work to (apparently I can't concentrate with any other type of music), amaliak suggested the soundtrack. Ohhhh, dude that brought back memories...and also a fic-bunny that'll probably appear on lj sometime within the next decade because that's how long it takes for me to write anything.

Speaking of fic and to-do lists, here's something that I wrote waaaaay back in december that I'd been lagging at archiving and cross-posting.

Unfortunately I still have to write part 2 and 3 of it. ::headdesks:: am soooo lagging.


Title: That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles (The Host And The Body Pt.1)
Rating: ADULT
Pairing: John/Rodney (SGA)
Spoilers: general for season 2

Summary: It wasn't the eggnog. (food challenge, amnesty)


( Read more... )

In class, variously, there's been talk of areas/arenas of Play; this is especially in relation to the creation of logic and culture. (note: the idea of games as For Children has apparently only been a recent development)

What's been startling and wonderful to realize is that it is by playing that culture's arisen, that there are ties and themes to playing in festivals and religions, and that by playing one comes about to the creation of beauty.

And here too, a realization, that if it can be said that games are simulations, that games are needed for logic. And if games are simulations, then it is a space for mistakes.

To say this again, in another way: Games are a place where mistakes are allowed and made welcome; whereas outside the Magic Circle of a game, mistakes are unallowed and discouraged.

_{This is not to say that games do not fully have consequences, either. Games can be deadly, can be life-threatening (ie. gladiator tournaments, x-games, free diving, Ender's Game), but with the context of a game one is more free to take risks, one is more free to move. In the context of a game, a death is given meaning like with chess or religion.}

Consequently, in the middle of games, mistakes are made beautiful. Mistakes becomes patterns, mistakes becomes reinvented, mistakes become the path to victory; in the middle of games, a mistake has a place.

Which, to bring it back to fandom, has interesting resonances with post-modernism and SGA, "The Isle of Misfit Toys".

On that note, it looks like my download has finished, w00t! SGA Season Finale!!

Oh. My. God.

So you know how popslash is just FULL of AU's where they're like, everything but a boyband?

Well, SGA now has a fic where, well, they get changed into a boyband, and oooooh is it sweet, yo.

THIS IS WHO WE ARE FIC NC-17 PLZ R&R LOL ^______^ by clone_this

And oh god, this might've been because of my history of reading popslash but I could not stop laughing and making wheezy noises throughout this fic. I just. Kavanagh! ::dies::

It comes to me that a story, any story, isn't really "real" to me unless it's bittersweet, or sweetlybitter. Or rather, for instance, that I'm totally dry-eyed through most drama's and Schindler's List, though it made me achy, didn't really cause me to cry. Ditto for comedies, I don't usually find things funny unless they're half-serious or morbid.

But like, have a story, where you simultaneously bring on the pain and make me smile all at once and I'm *wrecked*. Serenity got me gutted, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had me in tears, and I'm still trying to process Dead/Not Dead.

Something about laughing on top of ashes, something about hopeless battles fought with joyful abandon, something about the vicious love of life-that-is-death.

I think it partly springs from my thoughts on the "glass half-full/half-empty" problem, which is basically, "Look! There's water!" It's like how I find both taoism and buddhism too...hmm. non-squeeful? Like, I like the part of taoism that says "bounce back", and I agree with buddhism in the "life is inherently bitter", but...there's more than that.

Like, I believe that the world, and life, and people are inherently fucked up, that everything and everybody is inherently traumatized, just in different ways. But out of that comes such beauty, and isn't that just amazing? Astonishingly wonderful things still happen, little bits of kindness, startling bits of joy, quivering bits of happiness.

And like, reality is this, this total absurdity. It's ridiculous and strange and all sorts of cool.

And I think...I think that that's when the reality of any particular narrative I approaches hits. 'Cause it could be dark, but see, it won't *matter* to me, it's not *real*...but make me smile and suddenly I'm crying. It's a safe place, but not, a rest point, the curl of an arm, the heaves between sobs, the breath before relief. It's pru's fic and spike's fic and etben's fic and jenn's fic and really an amazing lot of fic in SGA and it's me reeling from snortling to w00bling at the episodes and it's me getting misty at other people's meta and it's me screaming at Home and it's me crying at Letters From Pegasus and this hasn't happened before.

And this didn't start out being about SGA except of course it went there and I'm just gonna go to sleep now 'cause I'm obviously rambling.

At one point lierdumoa said, "SGA's populated by genre villains!"

And I was all, "OMG you're RIGHT."

'cause you have the Politician and the Mad Scientists and the Remorseless Vigilante and trickster figures up the wazoo and Ilovemyshowsomuch!

[/sidetrack]

And with recent discussions and a random spat of creativity, I had a mini-Moment with photoshop:


(take if you like!)

Honest to god tho, I'm a vidder, not an icon-maker! If you are and icon-maker, please feel free to take this theme and run with it! (I will love you forever and ever and never forget to credit)

Meanwhile, I still need to make an Elizabeth icon...::goes to look for screencaps:: and maybe a Beckett icon with bubbly tubes and whatnot, 'cause the transporter is more up McKay's alley.

Random Teyla icon:

caps by _shroomy_ (found below, via emelerin) and dbw (here), ::glomps:: thank you!

( the screencaps if you want to make icons too...(large images) )

and vange made more!

_{note: many of the thoughts here arrived to via various conversations with lierdumoa ::glomps::}

Been rewatching SGA eps for vids.

God. God I say, because I love my show.

And I can't even believe I'm saying that, because I didn't ever think there would be a show or a fandom that fit me so *well* but...dude.

It's the morbid and the horrific and the absurd and the ridiculous, all wrapped up together. And I've said it before how much the show feels like it was made to utterly suit my brain alone, except it suits other people so well too and it's like a call saying, hey, you're not alone.

I'm frankly a little shocked that SGA even exists because it's not only a show about misfits, but it's a misfit show. It's a tv show acting like it's a movie. It's a sci-fi series made along the tempermental lines of NYPDblue. It's on the surface a genre show that, if you look closer, is really all about the characters. It's making fun of sci-fi and critiquing it, while at the same time paying it homage. It's in a genre that's all about "saying something" and "social critique" and instead refusing to say anything at all, only reflecting back a world that is very familiar and almost too close.

It is...space. If that makes any sense. It gives you *space* for your mind.

If it helps to explain, I think SGA is a very post-modern series. Where modernist art is densely filled and opaque to the audience, to force the audience to look closer and to force them to divine the author's meaning, post-modernist art tends to push notice away from the author's intent and the author's subjectivity. It is a space for the *audience's* sake and the audience's subjectivity, and not a place for the author to provide meaning; it is a space for the audience to meditate.

In that regard SGA is not only a "space" but an entire universe for the audience to fill.

I really think that SGA might've only been possible with the Sci-Fi channel; that without BSG and SG1, SGA would not have been made, because the show is not only self-reflexive, but reflecting every which way, on the genre (ie. "Sanctuary"), on the structure of a show (ie. "38 min"), on the structure of playacting (ie. "The Tower"), and perhaps even, if you wish to look at it , on the current political and social and cultural structures that we are all living in (ie. "Suspicion", "The Gift", "Siege II", "Trinity", "Critical Mass"). And it doesn't judge, only reflect. How awesome is that? And how rare?

'cause like, it doesn't present choices like, say, saving 2,000 people versus saving 200 people. It's sort of like that choice, but not quite.

With SGA, instead you get two black boxes. In one box you might save ~200 people (and you don't know how many), in the other box you might also save ~200 people (and you don't know how few), but they are different people. You don't get to know who is in which box. You sometimes get to know if choosing one box might condemn the other. Half of the time, you don't even know if you're choosing a particular box for a positive or negative effect.

THAT, folks, is SGA.

And I don't think I've seen it ever done so consistently and so well in a tv show (instead of a movie) that's popular and that's run for so long, 'cause maintaining that sort of tone is insane if you want an audience. People funding a project back away hella quickly if a show isn't escapist, and I think SGA's saving grace is that it's funny. And really, comedy is needed to cut the morbid, and what's more? Morbid things, are as a whole, often funny and ridiculous and absurd. The best of the horrific is intensely facinating and often comedic, and I'm so glad that SGA's providing essentially a place, also, to laugh.

It's post-modernist in a "Butterfly Effect", the theatrical release, kinda way, where the guy wins and loses simultaneously; instead of the Director's Cut, which is more modernist in intent. It's post-modernist in an "Eternal Sunshine" kinda way, it's we're so fucked, but we'll still give it our all and we're still gonna smile, it's you kinda suck, but I love you anyways, it's forgiveness. It's characters who are trying hard and fucking up immensely and trying again, it's a show deeply aware of it's own flaws and playing off them, it's ...a home made on conflict.

And I resonate to that. Or SGA resonates to me. Or something.


[edit]

::headsmack:: so I realized that I should probably define post-modernism as I understand it and am using it in this entry, 'cause it has a bit of a twisty definition and is always wrapped up with and juxaposed against the concept of modernism. Both of these refer to elements of style and elements of intent; in this entry I'm referring more to intent than to style.

Anyhoo, to understand post-modernism, one sorta have to see it against modernism.

modernist: universal truths, fear/sadness/mourning in the midst of dissolution, subjectivity of the author, order out of chaos, search for the fundamental/stable, knowledge for knowledge's sake

post-modernist: diversity/contradiction of truths, celebration in the midst of dissolution, subjectivity of the audience, chaos out of chaos, acceptance of the provisional/temporary, the application of knowledge

Here is it's wiki entry for post-modernism, the part I'm referring to for SGA is this:

"incredulity toward metanarratives", meaning that in the era of postmodern culture, people have rejected the grand, supposedly universal stories and paradigms such as religion, conventional philosophy, capitalism and gender that have defined culture and behavior in the past, and have instead begun to organize their cultural life around a variety of more local and subcultural ideologies, myths and stories.

First of all, hie ye off to read yuletide fics, they are many and they are AWESOME. There's new Care Bears BDSM there (this is different from the one I recced before, and how odd is *that*?), some awesome Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and it's been a really really good year for Samurai Champloo. REALLY good year.


SGA fic (assume McKay/Sheppard unless stated otherwise)

Atlantis In Tatters by Ekaterinn - dear lord this is angst, beautiful achy angst. Reads like ashes and bitter coffee grounds. Hurts in a seeping way.

Small World by tigs (gen, "Only ten minutes into the 33rd Annual International High School Sciences Competition and already John was in Hell.") - I LOVE these kinds of stories, the second meeting stories and John angsting 'cause he doesn't want the price of his smartness. Reads like lemon sorbet, provided you don't have a citrus allergy.

Fins by FairestCat (Elizabeth fic) - oh god, but this is *good*, this reads like the peta-conferencing of Laura Shaprio's West Wing vid Circles, only pitched in colors of red and bronze. It's swirling and lively and funny and smooth smooth smooth in an amazing way like a knot, but it's not suffocating. Go see!

Neither Helpful Nor Comforting by 20thcenturyvole - awesome voices, awesome plot, frightening and hilarious and beautifully absurd at points. Reads like watching a horror movie with your best friend.

Constellation by Purna (team gen) - Just a beautiful snippet of the team, wonderful and smooth and calming. Reads like a warm cup of tea.

Seven Circles Twisting by Brighid (team gen) - ...like. fuck. I mean, it's rare that a fic truly scares me, y'know? Or rather, perhaps, that it takes a lot to truly scare me, fic-wise. But this fic is simultaneously so very visceral and all about the empty spaces between the words. But this tastes of night, it tastes of night. ::shivers::

Ducks and Other Things That Quack from sga_santa (expedition gen) - You need this after the fic above. It's a beautiful and refreshing look at the expedition from the tail end, it's the day-to-day little joys. I love this Lorne, he may not *completely* understand, but he gets it and he protects it and there's just this beautiful fondness throughout the piece. Reads like a warm flannel blanket.

Lesser Homes And Gardens from sga_santa (Lorne/Parrish) - For the little that we see of Lorne and Parrish interact, this fic pulls it out and expands it so nicely and organically that, yes, I can see it like this, just like this. It's the soldier/scientist dynamic, but very different from that of the John/Rodney, and it's so very Lorne, which I just have an utter soft spot in my heart for 'cause he's so very much Rodney's "younger brother who tells on him 'for his own good'". Reads like warm miso soup and a fond smile.

Inflated from sga_santa (third person POVs on John/Rodney) - ohhhh but outsider POV on a relationship is one of my fic hot buttons and this fic does it so *well*. SO incredibly well, it skips through various POVs and you gradually find out what's going on and it just makes me squirm in delight because each of the other characters are written *so* well too. Reads like great champagne at the end of a great party, still bubbly and nicely cooled.

Sometimes...

Sometimes there's crack. And then sometimes there's good crack.

And sometimes there's the special crack.

Sometimes crack comes along that's so special that you cannot encompass it.

Are we surprised that this crack is in SGA?

(They have Teyla singing like a hobbit. And this is SGA canon. So you realize the depths to which fanfic has to run to catch up.)

They went to the Asgard alien, Hymen or Hernia or whatever his name was. They didn't care, their minds were preoccupied with the matter at hand.

"Put our cocks back," John hissed threateningly. "It's awkward me having Rodney's cock and him having mine. It's probably against U.S. military policy."

~ Swap/Meet by rosemending

OH. MY. GOD.

( Running Commentary )

( slightly more collected squee )

GOD, I love my show! (shaddup, this *also* bears repeating)

so I'm in vid-farr, never you mind finals season 'cause I just went to two study groups and I think I'm going to be fine.

But, see, I find myself keyframing 10 lensflares to follow missile paths, 'cause you know, it's just not *shiny* enough. (and it'll be more visible 'cause I'd timed it to the missile swooshes and, heh, vidding's like pushing me to newer and greater heights of analness)

Which is entirely plausible.

That is, until it occurs to me that I'm keyframing TEN lensflares over THIRTY EIGHT frames. o.o

::headdesks:: Stupid vid. Why are you confounding my inherent lazyness?

So I gave in and watched Critical Mass this morning.

HOLY SHIT.

HOLY *FUCKING* SHIT.

I love my show, So SO sososososososo Much. Like, MUCH. Like my love burns with the passion of a fire of a thousand burning ZPMS. O.M.G.

First, updated kanzeyori again with fics and vids finally. ::headdesk:: I *still* have to update permetaform_rec though it's kinda scaring me because, like, I've recs going back to JANUARY.

o.0 This is ridiculous. I produce more recs than I can ever archive, and that's not counting the heaping amount I *lost*...::headdesks:: when I grow up, I'm gonna gets me a secretary. And I'll pet him and love him and call him George. ::sighs::


Meanwhile,

Epiphany!

( oh god. )

God, I just, it hit me all over again while watching eps just how much I love this show and how much it feels like every episode was written for me, because it resonates with my mind in a way that very few shows do. It usually frustrates me that I can't enjoy the usual shows other people around me enjoy, sorta in the way that I'm frustrated that I can't think linearly very easily; which is to say that I figured out another way to go about it.

Hence fandom. Though even then, I kinda just drifted fandoms, mostly lurking and not sending feedback.

Until PotC. Until OUaTiM. Until Saiyuki.

_{(HP doesn't really count because I've never read any of the books.
Yes, I wrote fic based on the fanon alone. ::braces self for skewering::)}

And it makes my head tilt because these fandoms not really similar and they span different genres and mediums. Or rather, maybe it's not because I have a Genre that I truly love. I love, really, the sort of a meta-genre, if it could be called a genre at all, of pastiche. It's a type of story within a genre that's both a tribute and a loving parody of the genre itself. (examples would be American Psycho for horror, PotC for pirate movies, Sin City for Film Noir, OUaTiM for spaghetti westerns, and Saiyuki for adventure sagas) I love love love homages that makes fun of itself, that has a sense of humor about itself, that undermines its own genre while at the same time celebrates it.

Pastiche is perhaps, in essence, the crack!fic of the genre. But let me pause here to define crack!fic as I think of it. Because crack!fic doesn't mean bad!fic to me; instead I think of it as good!fic with astonishing qualities. It's "I can't believe that just happened" and "I can't believe that worked". It's subversive and strange, strange because it shouldn't happen and subversive because it uses its own medium to comment on itself. My favorite type of crack!fic is consequently usually simultaneously meta!fic (which, come to think of it, explains RPAS), done with joy and love and insuppressable glee.

So perhaps it's not so surprising that I love SGA.

It is so much so true to its genre that it has, for lack of a better term, wiggle room. It's sorta like my liking slash because it's an exploration of relationships without the difficulties of power dynamics tied to gender, it's sorta like Republicans being able to critique Bush and being more easily believed because they're Republicans, it's sorta like in an experiment controlling the constants while swiveling only one variable.

I adore so much how SGA is a critique on sci-fi genre itself (sci-fi genre itself frequently being a critique on culture and society), while showing it so much love and empathy and fondness. It's a show that knows both it's roots and loves it and comments on it, from the Ancients in Aurora (who we are shown in that ep. is like Star Trek) to the variations of the Prime Directive (Sanctuary, End of Childhood) to the characters themselves. For instance Halling is like a physical comment on his character archetype (Wise Black/American-Indian Shaman), and Sheppard and Teyla are self-contained gender-fucks (see previous meta), and how they sometimes have a character play the part of Sceptical Audience when they do the especially cliched plotlines (like McKay in Sanctuary).

Granted, I think the cliched plot-lines are part of the point. To be able to allow such play in character and themes, to be able to mess with and to critique the genre so much, a show needs some stable structure (some "draw") to allow it to connect with the audience. In SGA's case, it's the sci-fi codes and conventions that they're utterly playing with, and succeeding at playing with, and doing so with such love in a way that utterly facinates me and nevermind the cliched storylines that aren't really the point for me anyways.

Then again, it returns to how SGA so very much feels like it's made for my brain 'cause I personally don't think there's any new story under the sun. Solely-narrative-based plotlines lose me whereas SGA approaches its narrative like a monumental McGuffin and basically said, "Lets mix up characters and themes and turn every cliche inside out, and do it with some salt for the wounds and lime for McKay and DON'T FORGET THE UMBRELLA!"

God, I love my show. ::blissed out::

First the recs, 'cause these have been piling up and I need some form of sanity and not being afraid of my bookmarks. ::wry grin::

Assume that these are all SGA and all some form of Sheppard and McKay.


#435, The Atlantis Local Stitch'n'Bitch Chapter by rageprufrock - Wherein John is held close to the righteous female bosom of knitted products, Rodney is too curious for his own good, and plans fail in a spectacular way. (random thought: huh. I just realized this has a lot of what cereta mentions in her post on masculine and feminine spaces. huh.)

The Boys Of Summer by seperis - reads like the first breath of fresh air and feels like sun shining.

Advantage by resonant8 - Aliens make John into Rodney's slave and its both exactly what you expect and entirely surprising all at once.

Beauty by blinkiesays - Skip the notes on this one, the story reveals itself well enough on it's own and it reads like a melody.

The Lending Library by iphignia939 - The summary explains it all: "Naturally, when several hundred people moved to another galaxy, they brought porn." XD

[]

Stargate Question: Has anyone out there seen a plentiful amount of SG-1?

I'm very curious as to SG-1's interpretation of the Ancients; ie.
both the text and subtext of the Ancient's place/position in the SG-1 universe.

For instance, in SG-1 how were the Ancient's introduced? How are their technology viewed in SG-1, textually and subtextually? How did the SG-1 characters feel about the Ancients and Ancient technology?

I keep on seeing spoiler markings for an episode called The Tower...and then I remembered that it was a Tarot card.

Basic Tarot Story

...Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when in fact, he is no such thing.

~ from here

Heeee!!! YES. If this is going where I hope it's going, mayhap it'll provide me with enough source for my Sheppard vid! ::bounces::

bascon had a short-fic/drabble writting panel; I came in late, but I managed to get this out:

( tiny Ford-ficlet, spoilers for Season 2 Ford )

[]

So I was reading this meta on Weir by mari4212 and what registered to me both in this piece and saeva's post was how much SGC was not especially keen to having her around...

This brings home even more the idea that SGA is really a story about a bunch of misfits pushed to extremes, 'cause it's like a one-way trip and you *know* SGC was thinking, "Oh, well, you're expendable. Go ahead."

'Cause I mean, it's easy to see how Rodney and Kavanaugh won't exactly be missed and how John is all black-marked and how Beckett has extremely shady medical ethics (wherein 'Poison In The Well' is Beckett's 'Trinity') and how Heightmeyer is a psychologist like a shady, shady researcher ("Teyla/Rodney you shouldn't be freaking out for losing control of your body. Loose it again. Show me more.").

And it's not just possibly problematic writing of the show (that, for instance, Beckett is written as a shady doctor, because maybe he *is*), the patterns appear too often for that...So in a way, it was a relief to finally see where Weir was coming from, that SGC literally didn't want her around because she was a threat to the power structure and because she's really more a negotiator than a leader.

Which brings up an interesting question: What was up with Ford? Why were they so willing to let him go?

I haven't watched SG1 so I can't extrapolate from there...but perhaps I can guess from what I've seen of Ford in season 1. Please jump in if you've noticed stuff too or you have things to add from SG1!

( brain-splody speculation and s2 spoilers )

Also, btw?

Zelenka. His arc hasn't come yet...but I can sorta see it coming (sideways, if I squint) ever since Siege III. And it's coming like a trainwreck.

Which, you know, will DESTROY THE BRAIN when it happens.

::is SO looking forward:: Because SGA is EVIL, it'll make me flail at the screen, I just know it.

came back from bascon safely with spaggel and lierdumoa, had an absolute blast there, I was sad that fashes wasn't able to make it for Sunday but rl woes and ::HUGS:: dude. It was wonderful meeting mos_self (who is neat and engaging and tells great stories) esp since we passed by each other last year to my great dismay and sidewinder (who makes *shiny* earrings and necklaces and is just neat, I'm afraid I might've spazzed a bit at you ::hangs head::).

The vidshow went great! I had an awesome time color-tweaking and sound adjusting and vid-squeeing with morganlogan and the show went off without a hitch. I was so glad and relieved that it went off well and heard no complaints about the image quality or sound (beyond what was inherent in the source, such as Pros, or the perculiarities of the music itself, such as difficult-to-hear lyrics). Awesome programming on the part of morgandawn, in fact the con DVDs sold out 20 minutes after the vid-show ended.

[note: if you'd like to get a DVD, please contact ladyjax@livejournal.com. She'll let you know what's up, however please be understanding that she's doing alot of con wrap-up right now, and has to get at least 20 interested people before another order can be made.]

The panels were fun, shortfic!panel was a great conversation, crackfic!panel was a hoot, darkfic!panel let me know that apparently I'm on the darker range of things except that I don't really care for "dark"...which, let me explain. I was pretty much unsquicked by everything that got mentioned (with the exception of Michael Jackson porn, which, come to think of it, is really undead non-con idol-mentor!slash chan...and really, the mentor!slash aspect of it disturbes me more than anything else, but that's more because of my personal ideas about learning and knowledge)---aaaaaand I got sidetracked.

Oh! Darkfic! See, hell, one of my first producing fandoms is Once Upon a Time in Mexico, involving eye-gouging and other forms of permanent scarring; pain, I think, is sometimes deeply wonderful. But I love it best when I know and recognize who the torture is enacted upon (hence my need for adequate characterization) and I love it best when the physical pain is not gratuitous, and by gratuitous I mean that the pain is not just physical because the body can *heal*. The mind, however, is a trickier object; and not always cured by the magical butt-sex. Also, it doesn't hurt that the mind is more easily accessible by the written word, while the physical body is less so.

I was having a conversation with lierdumoa and she mentioned how she really really loves a good mindfuck, and most often they occur by methods that would be considered dark which is similar to me. Like for example, I really like non-con in fic, but I wouldn't bother reading a non-con!fic. In a sort of similar way, I adore darkness in my fics, but I like them in context of pushing these characters closer and closer to (and sometimes straight over into) that yawning abyss of the soul.

...Which is part of why I love SGA so much I think, because these very human characters are pushed to their limits in ways that are rare.

( Speaking of SGA ); I've been browsing SGA meta, 'cause that's what I do when there's no new eps, and came across this lovely Weir essay by saeva that analyzes Weir's character from the standpoint of SG-1 going into SGA. It makes an absolute beautiful amount of sense to me because not only does it explain what the writers might have been doing with their portrayal of Weir, but also helps explain how she is keeping SGA civilian, because not only does she have the political and economic backing of the world governments, but also because she's a *negotiator* first and foremost.

Weir, by saeva's explanation, is not a leader-diplomat, nor a diplomat-leader, she is trained and hired as a third-party negotiator. She is NOT a traditional leader-type, nor was she written to be, nor was she designed to be. Which means that during the course of SGA she's (at least in her mind) in the role of a third-party negotiator/translator between the military and scientific contingents with just enough paper-authority to pull a bit of rank.

Thus, any auxiliary power/pull of authority she might have during the course of the expedition? Is entirely due to her own talents and the respect that she earns from people. And from that point of view isn't it awesome that she's able to for the most part diffuse Sheppard's more anti-authority tendancies₁ and McKay's contraryness₂?

<sub>1 (which I think is more tied with Sheppard's Issues regarding the let-people-die-for-the-"Greater-Good" and the damn-military-is-being-inefficient,-the-'tards, than anything else)

2 (which I think is also tied to McKay's military = inefficient idiots complaint as well as with respect/courtesy that is given to him)</sub>

With McKay as the loudest (or perhaps the most technically qualified as compared to Beckett?) head science officer and with Sheppard as ranking military officer, had Atlantis's head been attempted by anybody with less negotiation skills or *especially* by anyone with more traditional leadership tendancies...wow. ::cringe:: Not only would there be head-butting with Sheppard and McKay, but even if the leader did have them under "control" they would be operating at far far less than their optimal efficiency. Which means for Atlantis and Earth, Can you say happy-meals on legs?

This is not to say that Weir hasn't been slowly gaining more and more leadership qualities; but it's a leadership that's very different from one which would arise from a structure such as a military hierarchy. AND MORE POWER TO HER for that, and for keeping Atlantis civilian based!

God, one of the reasons I was pulled into Atlantis was the concept of Atlantis itself...because of the sea and the sky and let me just tell you now that I came from the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom, from the pirates side. I come from the side of the fandom that fell in love when Jack Sparrow sang of his ship to Elizabeth, where,

"It’s not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.

But what a ship is...what the Black Pearl really is...

Is freedom."

And and and...I know that the sea makes me explode with illogical and irrational love. To me, the place where the sea and the sky meet is where magic happens, it is change and rebirth and resurrection. It's the surface of a Stargate, it's the place of possibility, it's freedom.

To have the military be in control of this? To have military of any sort be it army, air force, marine, or navy, be in control of the sea and the sky and just ::CRINGE:: GOD. ::shuddershudder FLAIL::

Every episode that I've seen so far lets me trust the writers; enough that 'Home' was just as disturbing to me as it was probably designed to have been, because I trusted and believed that something was *wrong*, that the "Earth" felt *wrong*, and that it wasn't just TPTB mis-writing and abusing the show. Because I think the writers truly love the show, and I think they understand the fans. Or at least they are very At One with the themes that hit me hard in the gut. They are very At One with this little fangirl (and pardon my puddles of squee ;D)

And Atlantis! God, because the original myth?

Atlantis was a city that sank because of its own corruption.

There are shady Ancients somewhere in there I think, and I'm not sure what it is or how it's going to show up but it's gonna be *big* and it's gonna be *devastating* and I can't *wait*.

Because, in the end, Atlantis is a city reborn, Atlantis is a city risen, Atlantis is a city that is perhaps redeemed by the love and care that Sheppard and McKay and Weir and Zelenka and Teyla and all the others lavish upon it and each other within. It's a rocky love affair, the one between the city and it's inhabitants, and there's mistakes and betrayals and attacks, and it will *hurt* at times, it will.

But there will be joy, too, and laughter, and the brilliant magic, that occurs at the kiss of the sea with the sky.

So I finished Season 1 of SGA and well...I have rambly thoughts.

Be forewarned that I haven't read any other SGA meta yet (with lack of time and in avoidance of spoilers) and I tend to tangent everywhere and babble, so I apologize.

But, well, can I just say how much I love conditional competence? Like, as in characters with Flaws, and I'm not talking here about no whimpy flaws that are really blessings in disguise and really makes them all Heroic, no. I'm talking about Flaws with a captial "F" that pwns you in the worst way not *only* at the most godawful times, but at every other time in-between. I'm talking about those flaws that makes one go all shify-eyed in discomfort, because they're not Tragic flaws, they're not flaws of Greek Heroism, but they're Human Flaws which I find incomparably beautiful.

And just, how incomparably *awesome* SGA is to have characters that have these flaws? And not only as side-characters which is what usually happens to characters who are allowed these kind of flaws, like Will Turner; occasionally you'd have side-characters with such flaws claw themselves into the limelight a la Sheldon Jeffrey Sands (done so by a resurrection into the heroic towards the end, two eyeballs less), or even rarer you'd have a series like Naruto which would make the flawed character the star. Never, though, have I seen an entire *cast* of these awesome well-rounded characters and it's a baaaaare and fine edge that they're treading here with making the characters all so impossibly layered. Because see, layered characters stories are harder to sell, because genre is easier to advertise.

The trick, I think, is that the writers of SGA obeyed the laws of being in a sci-fi genre. They have the CaptainKirk-type, and the Doctor-type, and the Geeky-scientist type, and the Counselor-type, and the AlienWarriorBabe-type...and then they subverted those types and made them sneakily human and layered which is just *awesome* beyond compare.

And let me just say again that conditional competence is SUCH a hot-button for my fandoms that I didn't know I had until I had several conversations about SGA; because here's the thing, I don't like incompetence, it's irritating (and can we say comedic write-off? Yes). But then total competence, while occasionally intriguing, kinda either leaves me cold or freaks me out. (Which, hey, is probably why I got so incredibly freaked out by 'Home')

Conditional competence though? That's *neat*. These are irredemable personality flaws, these are socially embarrassing flaws or, even worse, flaws that prevent people from being *capable*. Conditionally that is; because these characters have their strengths as well as their weaknesses and they have their areas of expertise and areas where they're out-of-depth, and how unbelievably rare is it to have a show that shows *both*? For *serious* characters? ::bounces::

And it just, it amazes me how incredibly *human* the characters in SGA are, how real they are, how Flawed they are and yes, with a capital "F"ing hell, much like the way that ( Spoiler for Serenity ) It is there so hard and so real that it *hurts* sometimes with a brilliant resonantcy and it is joyful sometimes with a breathless surprise and it's morbidly funny sometimes so you're able to laugh because it's true, it's *true*, and it's silly and strange and strangely real in improbable impossible ways.

It's karma that comes back to bite you, and consequences that you didn't know were there, and every grey area of shady-ness and people backs to the wall with a gun to their head and it's some line in Firefly, by Shan Yu, that THIS, this is how you really learn about these people:

"Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals, speak on every subject. Then, tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge--and on *that* day, you will finally meet the man."

And so we *meet* these characters, and they're multifaceted and they're strange and they're beautiful, and people are shown in betrayal and in cowardice and as arrogant and in denial and as failing in the ways that humans do (and failing spectacularly), and making choices that have no right or perfect answer. These are people that you can't always trust at your back, who are uncomfortable to live with, who are out of their depth, and who, sometimes, are just not enough.

And that makes the times that they *are* enough all the more improbably awesome and breathtaking.

And let me just squee at Weir!

Granted, she is an *older* woman which is hard to portray and hard to make stand out in sci-fi without going Medicine Woman. Granted, TPTB needs a writer that understands diplomacy better to give her better stuff. Granted, this is a boys show of places to explore and things that go boom.

( But omg whoa. (potential spoilers) )

And Teyla! Like, call it whatever for me to relate her to another character but she like Naruto (or probably Gaara, post Kazekage), except way better socialized. Because she has Issues, so much so that she's nothing like Lana Lang. She Wears the Lana Lang, in a scary and facinating way that's fabulous to compare to both Sheppard and Wier.

( (potential spoilers) )

And oh Beckett ::wibble:: gah. "First, do no harm." And just the honestly shady medical ethics he has going which delights me to no end that was being dealt with especially in parallel to Sheppard's shady martial ethics, and just how neat is it to compare his reaction to Atlantis with John Sheppard's??

( Beckett has a problematic relationship with Atlantis, no joke (potential spoilers) )

Dude, just...awesome show.

Awesome, awesome show because sometimes the science doesn't make sense and sometimes the sociology doesn't make sense and it's really sorta like Back To The Future except with more historical eras and people-eaters and things that go boom except it brings me to wonderful mental places and it introduces me to characters that are brilliantly human and to Atlantis, which, whoa. ::flails like Zelenka in Letters From Pegasus::

_{And is it wrong that I'm so utterly amused that this icon's keyword is "seagulls"? XD}

eeer. I have no ep 12...oops. (this will be fixed)

Also; pretty please don't spoil me for future eps, even if to answer my speculations.

( Spoilers for Ep.13 to Ep.20 )

Thought I'd post these before them links start piling up again...

Neat Links

- "SOUP OF THE EVENING...BEAUTIFUL SOUP"
- "Bonsai Story Generator"
- "giddygeek: So I left work yesterday with a fever an"
- "idlerat: The love that dare not speak its name (Mary Sue, slash, and secrecy) (with a side of SGA)"


Cool Orig.Fic - "edenfalling: "Sea-Glass"

Naruto - "deviantART: Rock Lee-collab with Fernanda by *Questofdreams"

Mr.&Mrs. Smith - "astolat: Pushover, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, John/Jane":
http://www.livejournal.com/users/astolat/89756.html#cutid1

Saiyuki, 58 &39 - "Newkate - Post a comment":
http://www.livejournal.com/users/new_kate/22634.html?mode=reply

Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Al/Scar - "Toffee - FMA NC-17 fanfic: The day Toffee wrote threesomes in a hurry."

Firefly, mostly Rayne
- "ff_fanfic: Title: Motivational Speaking (1/1)
- "rayne_shippers: Haunting Of Serenity, October/Halloween Challenge"

Stargate Atlantis, mostly McShep
- "Intersections, by Kaneko"
- "sga_flashfic: by Speranza"
- "sga_flashfic: Festival! By Moonloon (Culture clash challenge)"
- "sga_flashfic: Fic - Sting of Destiny by Jade_Dragoness"
- "sga_flashfic: Handsome Johnny, by Hth, Personal Item challenge"
- "sga_flashfic: Math Camp, by Mel, [Harlequin Challenge]"
- "sga_fusion: Fic: Another City, by Corinna [Angel]"
- "The Last of the International Playboys"