randomish, and a saiyuki link

[permetaform]

Too often when I'm posting something personal it's just to rant, and I wonder sometimes if I give off the impression of being an ickle ball of depressedness when more often than not I kinda just feel average, if not downright grateful.

I remember reading somewhere that having a blog increases incidences of depression because it becomes a cycle of over-dwelling on one's woes. And to a point I can see that, and in hindsight of some periods of my life I can appreciate that, although to be honest the very idea makes me defensive. Because I've drawn strength from people's replies and it *has* helped sometimes, and it led me to meet people that helped me in small ways or large to become the person I am today.

I am grateful for that. I am grateful that I have eyes to see and ears to hear and hands that do and feet that walk. I am VERY grateful to my knees, for being there and for working despite of my sometimes abuse of them. I am grateful for my mind, disjointed and in disarray even as it is, for it sometimes allows me to catch what other's missed. I am grateful that my parents are there and that they love me, psychotic tho they are, for it could have been worse. God, it could have been so. much. worse. but it's not.

I am grateful that the sky, today for the space of 2 hours, was blue like a fuck to the sight, clouds without shadows edged of silverlining. It rained a bit, afterward, but what a sky.

And I am busy today, as I am increasingly busy always it seems, now, but that itself is a blessing too. I have never felt so awake.

I am grateful for Saiyuki. It makes me cry, sometimes, if I think about it too hard, but it's a good sort.

Speaking of which, psychodragon82's posted Saiyuki Gaiden Scans, but is missing chapters 9 and 10. TRAVESTY! Does anyone have them? I would supply, but I have it not as well. ::puppy eyes flist:: pleeeeese?? Does anyone have them? Even raw? 'Cause I know some of ya'll are translators...

[edit] THANK YOU baka_gaijin!!! ::GLOMPS:: To pass on the joy:
Gaiden ch.9
Gaiden ch.10
[hosted by psychodragon82]

[edit2] links fixed.
[edit3] new links.

[edit4] baka_gaijin's also posted links to 16, 17, and 18 =D

Comments

[kokkoryuha.livejournal.com]

This may seem odd, since half the time I am whining about something on LJ, but I have found typing things up and posting them for the world to read, has made me feel better than anything. I don't normally tell people when I'm sad or when I'm hurting, and opening up helps me feel more human. There is a point, I'm sure, where it could become something that would make me more depressed, but I think that'd be subject to each person (did that make sense?).

And you hardly sound depress-i-od or like a nit-picker or whatever. You sound like a cool person who has things that get on your nerves, like the rest of us. ((shrugs)) No big deal. ^^

[permetaform]

There is a point, I'm sure, where it could become something that would make me more depressed, but I think that'd be subject to each person (did that make sense?).

::nods:: I think so! In that everybody's limit is different?

[kokkoryuha.livejournal.com]

Yes. That's what I meant. Just... I write in circles instead of making my point straightforward. It's a curse of mine.

[permetaform]

meh, it took me over 7 years to get myself out of the 'writing in circles' thing, and it never gets easier. ::headdesks::