randomish, and a saiyuki link

[permetaform]

Too often when I'm posting something personal it's just to rant, and I wonder sometimes if I give off the impression of being an ickle ball of depressedness when more often than not I kinda just feel average, if not downright grateful.

I remember reading somewhere that having a blog increases incidences of depression because it becomes a cycle of over-dwelling on one's woes. And to a point I can see that, and in hindsight of some periods of my life I can appreciate that, although to be honest the very idea makes me defensive. Because I've drawn strength from people's replies and it *has* helped sometimes, and it led me to meet people that helped me in small ways or large to become the person I am today.

I am grateful for that. I am grateful that I have eyes to see and ears to hear and hands that do and feet that walk. I am VERY grateful to my knees, for being there and for working despite of my sometimes abuse of them. I am grateful for my mind, disjointed and in disarray even as it is, for it sometimes allows me to catch what other's missed. I am grateful that my parents are there and that they love me, psychotic tho they are, for it could have been worse. God, it could have been so. much. worse. but it's not.

I am grateful that the sky, today for the space of 2 hours, was blue like a fuck to the sight, clouds without shadows edged of silverlining. It rained a bit, afterward, but what a sky.

And I am busy today, as I am increasingly busy always it seems, now, but that itself is a blessing too. I have never felt so awake.

I am grateful for Saiyuki. It makes me cry, sometimes, if I think about it too hard, but it's a good sort.

Speaking of which, psychodragon82's posted Saiyuki Gaiden Scans, but is missing chapters 9 and 10. TRAVESTY! Does anyone have them? I would supply, but I have it not as well. ::puppy eyes flist:: pleeeeese?? Does anyone have them? Even raw? 'Cause I know some of ya'll are translators...

[edit] THANK YOU baka_gaijin!!! ::GLOMPS:: To pass on the joy:
Gaiden ch.9
Gaiden ch.10
[hosted by psychodragon82]

[edit2] links fixed.
[edit3] new links.

[edit4] baka_gaijin's also posted links to 16, 17, and 18 =D

Comments

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

For me, watching you is a lesson in living. You are so much more grateful for your life than I am for mine, and though our individual circumstances are different, we're alike in that we both have much to be grateful for. Yet I always find myself griping about what's going wrong in my life, rather than what ISN'T going wrong, much less what's going *right.* You're always an upper, and even in your more reflective or 'mentally cornered' posts, you exhibit an entirely different mentality toward facing your problems. Different than *what*, I couldn't really specify, but it's different. Often refreshing. And definitely not an ickle ball of depressedness.

An ickle ball of adorableness, sometimes. ^__^

the sky, today for the space of 2 hours, was blue like a fuck to the sight, clouds without shadows edged of silverlining

You don't want to know how trembly-exposed-vulnerable-jubilant that phrasing, "like a fuck to the eyes," makes me. God, Perma, how often you SING when you talk!! You know that? Often, and not even "once in a while," but a nice reliable *often,* you sing!

My sky was beautiful blue up until five pm, when it began sprinkling and the sky went graywhite; but in the transition period, for ten minutes, it was bright blue sky, cloudless, and sprinkling gently. Rain during sunshine. Don't the Japanese have a special wishmaking ceremony for that, or something?

At any rate, Perma, I ditto what the others said: I'm grateful for you. I have my own fandoms that make me cry, I occasionally find myself happy that I'm busy...but I rarely remember to use the word "grateful". *hugs* I remember when I'm around you. Thank you.

[permetaform]

dude, you're so good for my ego ::wry facecovered giggles::

Rain during sunshine. Don't the Japanese have a special wishmaking ceremony for that, or something?

I think so...incidentally that's also one of my favorite weather-types, perhaps for it's rarity. =)

::hugs back::