Le Sigh.

[permetaform]

Life has gone insane and I find myself both losing too much sleep trying to catch up and not being involved enough while trying to catch up 'cause I'm spreading myself too thin. God, you'd think I'd learn by now about spreading myself too thin.

Prepare the front and the rear has few.
Prepare the left and the right has few.
Everywhere prepared, everywhere few.
~ Sun Tzu

I swear, I need to paste that somewhere prominent. I would on my head, but then I can't read it.

You'd think I'd learn. ::headdesks::

On that note, I'm clipping my friendslist. 750 is far too insane, and I can read fast but I still have a limit and time is short and I'm not giving people the attention they deserve and I *want* to be friends with everyone who friends me back but...fuck.

Because of the frienditto scare, I've realized that I *want* this journal to be a fan journal. I want it most of all to be where I can interact with fans of whatever fandom I'm in. But that doesn't work well on the internet, I don't think I (personally) can handle putting RL and fandom in one open forum.

One has to go, and I chose to keep fandom.

I'm not sure what that says about me. Or if it says anything. People keep on complaining about others who compartementalize too much, but I think that if I *don't* compartementalize I'll just bleed right through. Perhaps, if on some level, you don't compartementalize, you'll fall apart, mind into heart into gut into feces. It becomes one big undifferentiated mass...but I dunno if that argument is even applicable here.

I know I've moved from the fandoms I've originally met most of you; don't feel bad if you de-friend me, there's no bad feelings from me if you do.

Actually, if you're anything like me, the whole concept of de-friending leaves me queasy. Guilt-complex.

Mother-dear trained me well.

Comments

[aliaswestgate.livejournal.com]

It's called setting priorities. I've gone through the last few months, believe me! Even with my very small f-list. But i also keep it small so i can keep track of it. *hugs*

Whatever it takes to keep your head on straight, Permeta-san. I'll be lurking around, regardless of what happens. ^_^ You're interesting to watch, even if i don't comment as often as i have chance to.

[permetaform]

::hugs back:: thank you, and right back atcha!

[zoerayne]

Please, if you need to unfriend me, go ahead. I know all too well how hard it is to deal with an overwhelming flist when RL gets you down. *offers hugs, if you're the hugging type*

[permetaform]

awww ::glomps::

[permetaform]

::hugs:: and dude, people like you are one of the reasons I needed to prune my flist. I couldn't dedicate enough attention to following those I most want to.

[tv-elf.livejournal.com]

750???????????? Wow. I'm in awe. Do what you need to do.

[permetaform]

I used to be able to, and then I got less depressed and more busy. I'm almost tempted to make a post on that. o.0

[climb-on.livejournal.com]

You're actually one of the few fandom-ish people I like having on my flist 'cause you post interesting links and always have something thought-provoking whenever you post. that and. y'know. good looking pirates and batshit-crazy monks. :D

But yeah - if it helps the clutter, feel free to defriend me - I'd rather you have a neater flist and keep up with the excellent fandomness than for your brain to go kablooey. That would be - um, bad.

[permetaform]

awwwwww ::glomps:: thankee!

[kokkoryuha.livejournal.com]

750 is insane. And keeping up with that must be even worse. I understand your reasoning, so don't worry about what you have to do. That whole quote about not being able to please everyone, yea, I believe that, so do what you must/need to/etc. Don't let bad feelings hold you back from something you really want to change. ...I still am reeling over the idea of 750 friends... (I'm thinking I have like 20 or less and I think that's too many)

[permetaform]

750 is down to about 350, which is all that I could bare...thank goodness I'm a fast reader. ::wry grin::

[commodorified.livejournal.com]

I getcha. NP if you drop reading me, but mind if I keep in touch a bit?

[permetaform]

::glomps:: my lj is always open to everybody, and I see your name often in my flist...

[commodorified.livejournal.com]

*glomps back and offers cookies* Excellent; we have an accord then!

Woa...

[jackfan2.livejournal.com]

::Raises hand along with the masses on your flist:: I too don't mind if you de-friend me- Oh, you're right. That just sounds like someone died... Ok, how about we call it 'narrowing the focus', or some such gentler semantic.

I truly don't mind if you remove me then, or narrow your focus *w*. I'll always just check on you because I too consider your input into fandom and writing most amazing and inspiring.

You know, I do know of others who create and maintain two journals; one for fanfic and the other for personal stuffs. It's certainly a good way to sort things so you, in a way, sort your flist by doing that. Maybe you'll not need to 'narrow your focus', it'll be done for you in that separation.

But, you do what works for you. I suggest you, Number 1: B-R-E-A-T-H, Number 2: More breathing, Number 3: Take a long relaxing walk to clear your head, Number 3: Take a very deep breath and do what needs doing to maintain sanity- divide and conquer.

I know, I'm probably over-simplifying this, but it's a place to start, a jumping off point, if you will. Sounds like that would be a good thing; a place to start. Honestly, sometimes RL can be so freakin' over-whelming that it runs in an endless loop of insanity. You can't sever the circle, because life is a circle and, well, severing is not good. Try Yoga, though I can't attest to it's positive attributes as I've never gone there, but I have great friends who do and they love how centered it makes them feel. I use regular ol' exercise to find my center and release stress and for me that's enough.

Well, you take care of you. REALLY! Chamomile tea is nice, though I'm not much of a tea-drinker...

Be well, and be good, or just be. When RL is demanding on you, you lose that 'be', that you that you are.

*blink - blink* Okay, I just gave myself a brain cramp.

Re: Woa...

[permetaform]

I'll always just check on you because I too consider your input into fandom and writing most amazing and inspiring.

awwww.. ::GLOMP:: wow.

and yeah, good advice, all of it, I'll keep that in mind. ::hugs hard::

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

Perma, your journal is not f-only. Which means that if we get defriended, we can still keep you as OUR friend, and read your journal. 'Cause you know, we don't all have 750 friends to keep track of. You, on the other hand, don't need to be reading 750 journals. This is why the term "friends" list sucks. It's not a list of who is and is not your friends; it's a list of whose JOURNALS you choose to read. Cutting that list (drastically, I should hope), says nothing about what you think of the owners of said journals.

*hugs* Do it, and go ALL OUT when you do. You'll feel much less pressured. And you can always *re*friend later. So my advice is to cut everyone who isn't essential. Leave us to our own devices and let yourself mentally rest and slow down for a month or so. Then start adding back, slowly, and sparingly. Again: I *promise* you, we all understand. *hugs*

[permetaform]

ohhh ::glomp:: you rock. and yeah I went from 750 to 350...drastic enough?? ;D

And you're right...it is kinda a load off. ::hugs back::

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

I went from 750 to 350...drastic enough??

Maybe. If I were in your position, I'd cut everyone who it didn't hurt me to do so. But then again, I don't have a guilt-complex to fight. ^_~

[permetaform]

If I were in your position, I'd cut everyone who it didn't hurt me to do so.

o.0 but I did just that...

[nightengale.livejournal.com]

Heh, then good, that *is* drastic enough then. I was just making sure, 'cause 350 seemed like a big number to me. Apparently it's as small as you're willing to make it: in that case, *hugs* Good job.

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

You could always leave some people friended so they can see all your posts, but take them off your default reading filter. As you say, your fandom priorities have changed, so I wouldn't be the least bit offended if you didn't want to read my almost entirely fannish posts.

[permetaform]

::wry grin:: I had 9 filters and managing them was getting to be more trouble than it's really worth. the default filter stopped being able to filter enough...

you? I'm SO keeping.

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

Oh, the default filter has a limit? Bummer. Fortunately, I doubt I'll ever get to the stage where I'll discover that problem!

Awww, thanks! So happy to know I'm still loved :-) You most definitely are!

[http://users.livejournal.com/solo____/]

Compartmentalization rules! I wouldn't know how to live without it. So there.

As for 'defriending' - it's such a shame that LJ insists on calling it that. It creates quite the wrong associations. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about being too busy to read somebody's journal, or having lost interest; that's the way life is. Besides, unless you f-lock your own posts, whoever you defriend can still read them so it's not like they lose anything!

If you want to defriend me, please go right ahead without feeling any guilt. (Just let me keep reading your entries! *g*)

[permetaform]

nah, you rock! ::glomps:: I get good links from you, you're staying!

[http://users.livejournal.com/solo____/]

Uh... you make me blush. (*^_^*) Thank you.

[kanzenhanzai.livejournal.com]

Given the little I've updated in my own lj or commented anywhere else lately, feel guilt-free to de-friend! I'll probably keep you on my own flist in case of possible Saiyuki-ish things you might find first :P

[permetaform]

awww ::glomps::

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Actually, if you're anything like me, the whole concept of de-friending leaves me queasy. Guilt-complex.
Yeah, I'm the same way.

And, unlike all the people saying "feel free to defriend me," I'm clinging to your leg and not letting to. But you knew that. ♥

Also, check out the iiiicon....

[permetaform]

HEEE! icon-love!

And dude, am clinging right back!

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Isn't it hot? rubyd has them all on her site, very cool stuff.

[sex-and-tea.livejournal.com]

Just so you know I won't be offended at all if you de-friend me. I'll keep lurking around:)

[permetaform]

::GLOMPS::

[niankhsekhmet.livejournal.com]

You know, it really is not a big deal. I have so little time myself anymore that I can barely read the friends on my F-list that I have now. I won't be defriending you at the moment in like kind. Then again, I might as my own Flist is completely unmanagable at this point.

[permetaform]

::HUGS:: thank you so much for understanding!

[kendokat.livejournal.com]

I totally understand the need you had to downsize your Flist. So no worries girl . . . I haven't been around alot this spring, been dealing with real life issues so . . . everything is cool. I wish you only GOOD things always! Hugs - Kat

[permetaform]

::hugs back:: thank you so much for understanding

[crantz.livejournal.com]

Damn. Not fannish enough, it looks like.

[permetaform]

the WOE!kitten! ::aww's::

I've found that I visit your journal usually through other's reccommendation links, ::hugs:: I'll still be around

[crantz.livejournal.com]

Reccommendation links? My ego is soothed.

[ex-greythist387.livejournal.com]

Heh. I can barely keep up with 70, most of whom post fairly infrequently.

I'll keep stopping by via bookmarks, though, if that's all right.

[permetaform]

that's perfectly all right! thank you for understanding! ::hugs::

[goingxmissing.livejournal.com]

It's completely understandable - I admit, I am considering doing this too, even with a smaller flist like mine.

However little I comment, I do like reading your entries, so I shall keep you friended if that's okay :) I know it's sad wehn friends drift apart because of fandoms, but that's life I suppose *hugs*

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

Late, but I went looking around journals that'd friended me and hey, irony. :) Please take me off. I won't cause a fuss, in fact, I'd rather. If you ever need people to mock (http://www.livejournal.com/users/permetaform/268908.html) I'll be here - in fact, I've been marking my embarrassing moments with LJ's new tags, so it'll be easier than ever. And I'd feel much better not being reminded of it whenever I happen to see my friended-by list. It's not a good memory.

Not a demand, just a request in case you happen to do another f-list culling in the future. I'd appreciate it. And don't worry, I know you do spectacular work and have only the greatest respect for you, and wish you well in everything. Thank you for your time.

[permetaform]

...okay, first time I read this, I was highly highly confused by this comment. I went back to read this again, and was again highly confused by the comment and then found the link and was confused more and...like, you *do* realize that I was being perfectly honest when I said that it was a neat post, which I labeled that collection of links?

I usually view links as a form of props or applause, and link to posts that I like or that affected me. I'm sorry that you took my linking to your rant as an insult, I did not mean it that way. I linked to that because the expression of bitterness at groups of vidders is something that I could relate to and sympathize with and I thought it was a neat rant.

[sarahtheboring.livejournal.com]

"I said stupid things. I'm embarrassed and I wish more attention weren't drawn to my acts of stupidity."

"Good, watching you be humiliated was fun ^_^"

"Okay..."

Thanks, though. I appreciate the clarification. I feel better now. So it's up to you what you wanna do.

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

I think I'll keep you around anyway, as you are my link to the vid world, and also one of the first people I "knew" on LJ.